Survivor of domestic violence inspiring hope, healing in her Bay Area community
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and one local survivor is speaking out as she journeys forward.
Pam Kramer, a survivor of domestic violence, embodies a message of resilience and healing in her Bay Area community. With a focus on breaking the stigma surrounding domestic violence, Kramer reflects on her experience, noting that the shame of admitting her circumstances was much heavier a few decades ago.
"In that time period, there was not much discussion about domestic violence," Kramer said. "I think the O.J. Simpson case kind of came in that same period; it put some prominence to it."
Now, as a proud Jewish American and advocate for women in her community, Kramer is grateful for her second marriage and the new beginning it represents. However, she emphasizes that the work of healing is an ongoing process.
"There was physical violence — hitting, slapping, pushing, threatening, emotional abuse," she recalled.
Kramer knew something had to change when the violence began to affect her children. The years of emotional damage had also taken a toll on her self-esteem.
"For me, you know, I started to believe it. My self-confidence seemed to just diminish," she said.
Everything changed for Kramer when she met Naomi Tucker, executive director of Shalom Bayit, a nonprofit that supports women impacted by violence. Through the organization, Kramer not only received support but also became a core leader.
"Having that kind of community empowerment means everything," Tucker said.
"Domestic violence knows no bounds of any cultural, socio-economic, or any other kind of barrier. It happens at the same rate across all communities. One in four women globally will experience abuse from an intimate partner in her lifetime," Tucker explained.
Once Kramer found the support she needed to start anew, she began spreading her message of resilience to other women in similar situations, focusing on the importance of safety.
"If you're in a situation like that, you need to remove yourself. You need to move to safety. Always. Safety first," she advised. "So, working on some kind of a plan to remove yourself, to get out, to get the support you need — to find that safety that you deserve."
Through her advocacy and support from Shalom Bayit, Kramer has found a new chapter of peace, one that she hopes to continue to share with others who face similar struggles.