Longtime Gay Men's Chorus member driven by group's message of hope
The San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus, one of the oldest and largest LGBTQ choruses in the world, has brought hope and joy for one of its longest-serving members.
When Clint Johnson joined the first openly gay chorus in 1987, he knew he was part of something special.
"One of the first songs we sang was groundbreaking at the time - we sang 'We Kiss in the Shadows' from The King and I - and that was revolutionary in some respects," he said.
He felt safe and welcome.
"The music and experience were so life-affirming and identity affirming that I could not imagine not doing it once I started," he explained.
So he's kept singing for 35 years. Johnson says he's driven by the music and the message. He said the chorus talks about each song, and what it means.
"Like this song they're working on," Johnson said. "This is about the AIDS epidemic. Many of the people didn't experience it, so we have to have conversations about what that felt like."
The 64-year-old second tenor recalls the feeling all-too-well. He was part of the chorus when AIDS was still an unknown. What was that like?
"Terrifying," Johnson said. "It was painful at times because you would come to rehearsal once a week, and then next week, so-and-so would be gone. They passed away during the week."
The chorus lost more than 300 members to AIDS since 1981.
One of the songs the chorus sings, "41," honors those who died. Vocalists turn, one by one, a symbol of each life. Rehearsing the song decades later still makes Johnson cry.
"It takes me to a very specific place and time and makes it all so very real. It brings it all back," he said.
But the songs also remind him of the chorus' resilience, coming together in comfort and courage. And the more they felt the government and outside world brush them aside the more they stuck side-by-side.
"You got to see the depth of empathy, the strength of our community," he said. "You are helping people try to live, you are helping people try to figure out how they want to die, and then you have to go on."
They finally determined they needed to sing hope and joy.
"At that time there was none or could not be any," he said. "Home for the Holidays at the Castro, was borne out of that impulse."
Today, the chorus rises again, bringing hope from the darkness of the COVID pandemic. Now that they've returned to in-person concerts, Johnson and the chorus are more determined than ever to onspread hope, joy and pride in their 44th year.
"We get letters from people who say they were contemplating suicide but a song they heard on one of our albums helped them see themselves in a different way."
Note: The chorus has its next performance on July 13. It's a farewell to Dr. Timothy Seelig, who is retiring after 10 years as artistic director.