Pirates Fans' Top 50 Reasons To #HateTheCards
PITTSBURGH (93-7 The Fan) – With a crucial Pirates vs. Cardinals four-game series set to begin in a matter of hours, The Fan Morning Show set out on a mission to compile a list of reasons to hate the Cardinals, who have become the Pirates' arch nemesis.
It started out Thursday morning with a #HateTheCards hashtag, and listeners took it from there.
Suddenly, Pirates fans were swarming Twitter with a bevy of reasons to dislike the Redbirds- and within a couple hours, #HateTheCards was trending nationally.
Courtesy of The Fan Morning Show's fantastic listeners- far too many tweeters and callers to list here- here are 50 great reasons to #HateTheCards:
• Yadier Molina's neck tattoo (which isn't nearly as good as Jose Tabata's)
• Tony La Russa
• Tony La Russa's mullet
• Holier-than-thou, self-righteous fans
• The "Cardinal Way"
• They supposedly have a squeaky-clean image yet they signed Jhonny Peralta fresh off a PED suspension
• The "h" in Jhonny Peralta's name
• Jim Edmonds dodged balls so he could make a diving catch and show off his "athleticism"
• They hacked the Astros
• That silly jig that Jason Motte did after every pitch
• The fact that almost everyone they add becomes good
• Willie McGee's ugly nostrils and hair
• They're red just like the communists were
• Chris Carpenter's attitude
• Matt Carpenter's eyebrows
• Randy Choate's goatee
• Jack Buck and Joe Buck
• Jon Jay and his two first names
• Kolten Wong's multiple walk-offs against the Pirates and his over-the-top bat flip
• Pittsburgh gave America Jonas Salk; St. Louis gave America Nelly
• The stupid little bird on their uniforms
• David Eckstein and his hair
• Scott Spezio and his red-dyed soul patch
• Mark McGwire and his tainted home runs
• St. Louis style ribs are awful
• They're treated like the ultimate winners when they haven't won a World Series since 2011
• St. Louis is nowhere close to as nice as Pittsburgh
• Their sense of entitlement
• If the Pirates were in any other division in baseball they'd be a division leader
• Gary Gaetti didn't have ear flaps on his helmet
• "Wacha" sounds like the annoying sound that Pac-Man makes
• Wacha is spoiling Fozzie Bear for all of us
• The Tony La Russa and Lloyd McLendon confrontation in 2004
• Clark Griswold had his hubcaps stolen when he asked for directions in St. Louis
• St. Louis stole Pittsburgh's title as "The Gateway to the West"
• Paula Deen is a Cardinals fan
• Parrots are cooler birds than Cardinals
• The 2006 Cardinals won the World Series despite only winning 83 games
• They stole Jenifer Langosch
• They will probably pick up the players that the Pirates need at the trade deadline
• If they fall out of the playoff race, that will probably get more attention than the Pirates surging ahead of them
• Tom Sawyer was a criminal
• They used to be called the "St. Louis Perfectos" (of course)
• They always seem to take a two-outs-with-nobody-on-situation into a two-run inning using four bloop singles
• Ozzie Smith's backflips
• They're like the rich kid down the street that gets everything handed to them for no reason
• No matter where a pitch is, Yadier Molina thinks it's a strike and can't let it go, to the point where he argued a call in the middle of a play on Wednesday night
• They're so boring to watch
• They just won't go away, like the 90's Braves or "Uptown Funk"
• We're sick of hearing that Matt Adams is from Slippery Rock
Listen to the #HateTheCards from the show.