It's raining fish monsters in Alaska
It's a bird... It's a plane... It's a fish monster!
That's right, people. Grab your umbrellas and run. Reports have been coming in from Fairbanks, Alaska of residents spotting Arctic lamprey -- the terrifying fish seen here with its teeth bared around a throat that looks like an eyeball -- falling from the sky.
This lamprey was picked up and taken to the Fairbanks Office of the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, where it latched onto the glass of its fish tank... spawning this image straight out of your nightmares.
By CBS News Staff Writer Christina Capatides
Fish monsters
And lest you think these creatures look tougher than they are, a brief discussion of their feeding habits should rid you of that thought forever.
Adult lamprey feed by attaching parasitically to other fish... and, wait for it... sharks.
Ahhh fish monsters!
"Lamprey have a raspy tongue," says Andrew Gryska of the Alaska Department of Fish and Game. "They'll rasp away meat and flesh and blood from the fish they attach to. Sometimes they even steal the food that's coming into the stomach of a fish by rasping all the way into its stomach."
So, these monster fish deliberately attach themselves to the bodies of deadly sharks, then, essentially, steal their lunch.
Ahhh fish monsters!
Not everyone is put off by those ugly mugs, though. While some people in Alaska currently look at lamprey as monster rain, Native Americans in the Northwest actually look to lamprey for food. In fact, they hold a lamprey harvest every year.
Ahhh fish monsters!
Here, a bunch of the elusive eels slither around in a bucket; the result of a successful tribal fishing trip in Willamette Falls, Oregon.
Yum.
Ahhh fish monsters!
Native Americans at the annual harvest even toss the eels they catch to one another. Think: Frisbee, but with fish monsters as the disc.
Ahhh fish monsters!
This jawless fish, popularly known as an eel, has steadily declined in recent decades, until Columbia Basin tribes have only a few places left to look for them.
That's due in part to the hydroelectric dams in the area that harness the power of the Columbia, Willamette and Snake rivers to make electricity.
Ahhh fish monsters!
Arctic lamprey may have no jaws, but they do have sizable teeth. And this lamprey's mouth is like something out of a sci-fi thriller.
"Have you ever seen the movie 'Alien'?" asks Andrew Gryska of the Alaska Department of Fish and Game. "It's got this gnarly looking mouth, and then it opens up and another mouth comes out. Lamprey are sort of like that."
Ahhh fish monsters!
Arctic lamprey often stretch to more than a foot in length.
This one, which fell from the sky in Fairbanks, Alaska, is nearly 15 inches long.
(shiver)
Ahhh fish monsters!
Arctic lamprey are anadromous. That means they're born and live in a river as larvae. Then they metamorphose into an adult form and migrate to the ocean for a few years, before ultimately returning to the fresh waters where they grew up.
Arctic lamprey also stick to a pretty strict travel schedule. They spawn from mid-June to early July in river riffles, so they can then migrate back to the rivers they came from in early November.
Ahhh fish monsters!
Arctic lamprey spawn in the Chena River and live in the underwater mud there, but four of them recently have been spotted in bizarre places on land -- someone's lawn, the parking lot of a supermarket, etc. -- and officials believe local gulls are to blame.
The bruising and cuts on the back of the lamprey seen here support this theory, as they are compatible with being squeezed between the bill of a gull.
Ahhh fish monsters!
Most people have never seen Arctic lamprey, because their body shape renders them extremely difficult to catch.
And that probably explains why the few gulls that have managed to pick them up lately have promptly dropped their slippery, squirming bodies over land while in flight.
Ahhh fish monsters!
Arctic lamprey don't have traditional gills, like most fish. They pump water in and out of a series of gill pouches on their sides, seen here.
Ahhh fish monsters!
These gill pouches almost have the appearance of tiny bullet wounds, adding to the Arctic Lamprey's already chilly street cred.
They fall from the sky and they look like they've just survived an eel drive-by.
Ahhh fish monsters!
Currently, the biggest threat to the population of Arctic lamprey is over-harvest from commercial, personal use or subsistence fisheries. Their only natural predators are birds, river otters and several types of larger fish.
In fact, the Arctic lamprey pictured here (alongside several smaller fish) were extracted from the stomach of a predatory whitefish, known as a sheefish.
Ahhh fish monsters!
While lamprey can be found in several locations throughout the Pacific Northwest, the Arctic lamprey are only found in Alaska.
Near the mainland of Alaska, they live and breed along the Kenai Peninsula, along the Bering Sea drainages and along the Arctic coast to the Anderson River. They also hang out in the river drainages around Alaska's St. Lawrence Island.
Ahhh fish monsters!
There's much that biologists still don't know about these terrifying, elusive little creatures. So, if you find one in your backyard... or on your windshield... or waiting for you by the lamp in your living room, it's best to report it to wildlife authorities.