Why can't Jim Gaffigan find his TV remote?
Things are different, right?
An example: I used to do stand-up comedy. No, really, I did. I mean, I barely remember, but there was time when I would go on stage and make people laugh, as a job. Well, that was the intention.
I would perform pretty much every night. On Fridays and Saturdays, I'd perform out of town.
Things are different now. You know what I did last Friday night? I looked for my television remote.
I didn't look for the remote for PART of Friday night. I spent ALL of Friday night looking, and looking.
The reason I spent an entire night hunting for a television remote is not because one of my five children lost it. Well, not exactly. The reason I rummaged and re-rummaged through our kitchen for hours and hours is because earlier in the day I had hid the remote from my kids, but I couldn't remember where I hid it.
Not only did I not remember where I hid the remote, I didn't recall hiding it.
Now, if you're wondering why I would even hide a remote from my children? It's because my children respect my rules, and I'm a good parent. And frankly I didn't feel like putting the remote in the safe where I keep all the screens, sodas and candy, from those same children that respect my rules.
I hid the remote from my children so they wouldn't watch television during distance learning, or at night when they should be doing homework or sleeping, which they never do anyway. Why did I forget where I hid the remote? Why did I forget I even HID the remote? I don't know. COVID? Antifa? I don't know. I completely forgot.
Not only could I not FIND THE MEMORY of hiding the remote, I DIDN'T RECALL ME TELLING MY WIFE that I had hid the remote.
So, I spent Friday night trying to solve a mystery I created.
"Okay. If I were a good-looking, non-crazy father of five who had spent 10 months with his family, where would I hide a remote control?"
Well, I found it, eventually. Technically it was Saturday morning, but I found it, and you know why I found it? Because I'm doing great!
For more info:
- jimgaffigan.com
- Follow @JimGaffigan on Twitter
Story produced by Aria Shavelson. Editor: Lauren Barnello. Illustrations by Mitch Butler.