Singles survey finds more men want women to make first move

Dating site Match.com conducted what it calls the most comprehensive survey of singles in America. It looked at relationship trends, shifting gender roles and social taboos.

Among single men ages 18 to 70+, the national survey released last December found 95 percent are in favor of a woman initiating the first kiss and also asking for a guy’s phone number. But only 29 percent of women actually initiate the first kiss and 13 percent of women ask for a man’s number.

Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist and chief scientific adviser for Match who worked on the study and analyzed the findings, said the facts are part of a larger trend where women are “piling into the job market, gaining economically, and gaining sexually and socially.”

“Men say that feminism has really made dating easier, safer and more enjoyable for them,” Fisher said.

The survey also found that the No. 1 turn-on for single men was female entrepreneurs.

“I began to think why is it? What is an entrepreneur? They’re daring, they’re creative, they’re conscientious. They’re going to have some time off because they’re their own boss. It makes sense,” Fisher said.

When it comes to millennials, the survey found that single millennials were 48 percent more likely than older generations to have sex before the first date. Fisher called this “fast sex, slow love.”

“What we’re finding over the years, and we find it this time, too, is a real extension of the pre-commitment stage. Marriage used to be the beginning of a relationship; now it’s the finale. And what I think is going on is these people want to get to know every single thing they can about a sweetheart before they tie the knot,” she said.

They’re looking to see if they want to spend their time, energy and money on the other person, Fisher explained.

“Millennials, particularly, they want to marry. They’re quite dedicated to finding love in 2017. But they’re doing it differently. They’re courting first by getting to know somebody. I guess you know a lot between the sheets, you know, you learn a lot. And then not just how they make love, but whether they got a sense of humor, whether they’re patient, whether they can listen,” Fisher said. “They’re probably not scared of getting pregnant. They know how to handle that. They know how to avoid a disease. They don’t have to walk the walk of shame. Sex is part of the puzzle.” 

Fisher said those findings on the “commitment-lite” or “pre-commitment” stage of a relationship — where “you know what you have, you think you can keep what you got” — led her to do another study with Match.com and married people.

One of the questions they asked 1,100 married people was,  Would you remarry the person you’re currently married to? “And 81 percent said yes,” Fisher said.