See Aziz Ansari's excruciating texts to Blake Lively
Have you ever sent a vulnerable, out-on-a-limb text that received no response? Aziz Ansari certainly has.
The comedian confessed on "The Howard Stern Show" Monday that after meeting Blake Lively, bonding over their shared love of food and exchanging numbers, he proceeded to send her a series of texts.
Ansari took out his phone on Stern's SiriusXM show to read the following saved messages aloud, which started in April 2011. They pretty much speak for themselves.
"Hey, it's Aziz," the comedian wrote. "The Animal dinners are over now unfortunately, but I will show you photos from when I went. It was very tasty. Are you going to the Met Ball?"
His text did not receive a response, but Ansari is no quitter. The night of the aforementioned Met Ball, he texted Lively again:
"Hey, it's Aziz. Please tell Karl [Lagerfeld] he needs to call me, it's been too long since we bro'd out."
He messaged her again a few hours later:
"I'm going to the Boom Boom Room for that afterparty. Hopefully this is your number? Either way, good seeing you."
Ansari commented to Stern, "And that's just so sad, that I'm questioning the technology."
Finally, Lively messaged back: "Hey, maybe I'll see you. So weird, Karl was just saying how bummed he was to miss you."
The next day, Ansari messaged Lively again. He wrote, "I feel so bad you had to fly to North Carolina after that party. It must've been rough. Karl and I partied at Boom Boom until 7 a.m. Got tacos the next day after and just had a beautiful spa day. Next time we are in the same city, let's eat delicious food."
One may think that bringing up their shared love of food again would have garnered a response, but no. Again, Ansari did not give in. He sent one final text to Lively:
"The last message I sent her -- and I don't know why I sent this -- is Dec. 17, 2011, and I just write, 'Happy Holidays!' and then there's no response," he said.
The "Parks and Recreation" star then decided to text Lively while on Stern's show:
"Read these messages on Howard. Hope that's cool. Doubt you'll respond to this."
We also doubt she'll respond, considering their track record. Plus, Lively is likely pretty busy, preparing for the birth of her first child with husband Ryan Reynolds. Sorry Aziz. You'll get 'em next time.
Earlier this week, Ansari also took to "The Late Show with David Letterman" to proclaim that he is a feminist in a video which is making rounds this week. Check it out below:
Ansari will perform Madison Square Garden on Thursday, joining the short list of standups who have played the New York arena, which includes Eddie Izzard, Louis C.K. and George Carlin.