Jim Gaffigan: Do we have to do Christmas in December?
"Christmas is canceled!" Okay, that got your attention.
That's something my mom would say to me and my five siblings when we were misbehaving as children, which was all the time, but I guess in December we were bad enough to cancel Jesus' birthday.
"Christmas is canceled." It was a hyperbolic statement from an exhausted, loving mother of six.
As a kid I knew it was only a threat, but it was horrifying thought to think of not getting a Christmas present. I remember wondering, "If it's the holidays, why are Mom and Dad so stressed out?" Now that I'm an adult, I understand it all too well.
The holidays are stressful, but let's not just blame it on the holidays or our crazy families. It's a combination of a lot of things. You barely recover from Thanksgiving and then bam! It's Christmas, and then bam! It's New Year's Eve?!?
The holidays also obviously coincide with the end of the calendar year, which adds additional weird obligations and resolutions. Add in the unfortunate fact the holidays are in cold, icy December. December – that's not ideal! Let's face it: Without Christmas and New Year's Eve, December would just be another January.
Now, I'm not proposing we cancel Christmas (although at times it seems like a decent idea). How about this idea? We move Christmas.
Alright, alright. I can already hear some of you typing your outrage on Twitter and Facebook, but please know I'm joking. Kind of.
But consider this: Christmas is when we celebrate the birth of Jesus. There are many theories on when Jesus was actually born. That implies there's some flexibility.
How about Spring? December in the Middle East is very nice, but for us, wouldn't it be nicer to travel to Grandmother's house in, say, May?
How about Summer?
If we moved Christmas to July, we could do a combo birthday celebration: Merry Christmas and Happy 4th of July! It makes sense. We all know Jesus was from America.
Okay, maybe I went too far.
And if you have a problem with this and want to complain to CBS, just remember, my name is Mo Rocca.
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Story produced by Amy Wall.