Jim Gaffigan: 2020, please turn your notifications off
I'm sure it wasn't your most social Fourth of July celebration, but at least you got to participate. I learned a long time ago that I don't need to be in a group to eat too many hot dogs and hamburgers. And, if you aren't social distancing with fireworks, you're gonna get hurt.
I would say Fourth of July is probably my least painful calendar notification I've received during the pandemic.
Like many of you, I have notifications on my computer of upcoming events. Back in March and April many of those events had to be canceled because participating in them would mean death for someone.
Unfortunately I didn't remove those events from my calendar. As a result, every couple days I receive a reminder of what my life could have, and should have, been like.
Ding! "I was gonna perform at Radio City Music Hall! That's not happening. I don't know, my career is over."
Ding! "Oh, that's right, I was gonna fly to L.A. to work on a movie that would've changed my career. That's never gonna happen. "
Ding! "Ah, our family was gonna do our annual summer beach vacation. Had to cancel that. And since it was corona, even the insurance we got didn't cover the cost of the rental. I ate the whole thing. It's a reminder: I'm definitely going broke."
Ding! "Looks like we're not attending the family reunion this year."
Well, I guess it's not all bad news.
See also:
- Week 1: Family life under lockdown
- Week 2: Life in quarantine is like a sitcom
- Week 3: Spring arrives!
- Week 4: Lessons of "distance learning"
- Week 5: Kids, quarantine and sanity are not compatible
- Week 6: Consuming all news, all the time
- Week 7: Jim Gaffigan discovers he misses strangers
- Week 8: On sharing dinner with the masses
- Week 9: On living in unprecedented times
- Week 10: Are we REALLY all in this together?
- Week 11: On not knowing what comes next
- Jim Gaffigan on what dads REALLY want on Father's Day
- Jim Gaffigan on getting the whole lockdown thing wrong
For more info:
- jimgaffigan.com
- Follow @JimGaffigan on Twitter
- Watch "Dinner with the Gaffigans" on YouTube
Story produced by Sara Kugel. Editor: Chad Cardin. Illustrations: Mitch Butler.