Amid George Floyd protests, black police officers are caught between their job and their identity
About 11.5% of full-time police officers in local departments in the United States are black, according to the latest data from the Bureau of Justice Statistics. More than 71% are white. Recent Census data says about 13.5% of the American population is black.
As protests over the death of George Floyd and police brutality continue, black officers are facing complicated feelings.
Lieutenant Greacia Herdsman, who has been with the NYPD for nearly 28 years, told CBS News correspondent Errol Barnett that she was called "anti-cop" by a white colleague for suggesting the officers who failed to intervene during Floyd's death should be held accountable.
"It's complex," Herdsman said about being a black officer right now.
At a recent protest, people came up to her asking how she felt "being black and knowing what's happening" and if she believes in protests.
"And I was like, 'Yes, I believe it's your right to protest peacefully. ... My son is probably here right now,'" she recalled.
Law enforcement officials like Herdsman are trying to find a balance between their duty to their jobs and their identity as black Americans.
"I was excited to be able to say, 'I want to be a part of the protest.' I want to walk with the community," said Fayetteville, North Carolina Police Chief Gina V. Hawkins. "And then we had the violence come up ... I had to do my job, which is protect the community."
Sergeant Jami Jones is one of 19 black officers out of roughly 130 people in the Decatur Police Department in Alabama.
"I think that if you don't study one's culture or know someone else's background that you're dealing with, then you can see them as a threat when they're not even a threat," Jones told Barnett.
He believes that does happen, he said. "You know, there have been times when I've been out of uniform where I have been treated differently," he said. "I keep those stories at home, or, you know, away from work."
When he's not in uniform, he's "just another guy," Jones said.
"I'm a black man first. All right? And if they've had any issues with, you know, the black race, or what they see on TV … then they may feel threatened a little bit by just the sight of me or being in close proximity of me," he said.
Black officers often don't speak about what's happening in the black community with white officers, Herdsman said.
"I think it's an underlying fear of what will it mean about my relationships? Because the policing relationship can be a close one," she said. "When you're on the streets, you need each other."
Jones said he believes some of his white colleagues would sympathize with him if he shared his experiences with them.
"But like I said, it's just personal preference," he said.
In 2016, a Pew Research study found that 92% of white officers believe the U.S. has made the necessary changes to assure equal rights for African Americans, while only 29% of their black colleagues agreed.
The same study found 86% of officers felt high-profile fatal encounters between police and black people made their jobs more difficult.
Hawkins acknowledged that it's challenging but said she's unwavering in her position as a black member of law enforcement.
"If they are not in this profession, who will we leave it up to?" she said. "It's a hard position to be in, to know what I stand for and to know what it should be like and to know what it's going to take to eradicate the ones that should not be in this uniform. ... But I need the good ones to stay strong. I need the good ones to speak up. I need the good ones to know we are going to change the world with George Floyd. So yeah, it's hard, but it was never promised to be easy."
Hawkins believes she can do more from inside the police force than outside, she said.
She also said one way to build trust is to make it mandatory for police agencies to report use of force, disciplinary actions and crime statistics. Right now, all that data is voluntary.
She said she believes local communities should decide how they want to be policed.