Demi Moore on "The Substance" and resisting a toxic beauty culture

Demi Moore has lived in her home since 2005. "It's had some interesting incarnations," she said. "It was a house with three kids, and now it's just me and my silly pack of dogs."

It's hard to think of Moore as a grandmother who lives alone, but here she is, and doing what some are calling the best work of her career. Her latest film, "The Substance," is about an aging TV star who finds a sinister-looking potion that can give her a younger, more perfect version of herself, but at a terrible price.

"I put so much pressure on myself," she said, when discussing the value she had placed on her attractiveness in the past. "And I did have experiences of being told to lose weight. And all of those, while they may have been embarrassing and humiliating, it's what I did to myself because of that."

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For example, when she was shooting 1993's "Indecent Proposal," she would ride a bike every day from her home in Malibu to Paramount Studios in Hollywood: that's around 30 miles each way.

And she was nursing a baby at the time: "I think she was, like, five or six months old when we were shooting that. So, I was feeding her through the night, getting up in the dark with a trainer, with headlamp, biking all the way to Paramount, wherever, even on location where we were shooting; then shooting a full day, which is usually a 12-hour day; and then starting all over again. Even just the idea of, like, what I did to my body, it's, like, so crazy, so ridiculous."

But, she said, she thought it was what was required of her at the time: "Yeah. But you look back and you kinda go, 'Did it really matter that much?' Probably not! But at the time, I made it mean everything."

Moore's been in the spotlight since the '80s – a talented, and at the time troubled, member of Hollywood's so-called "Brat Pack." On-screen she sparkled, in films like "St. Elmo's Fire" and "About Last Night." Off-screen, she struggled with self-esteem. "I just have a lot of compassion for what a scared little girl I actually really was, even though I didn't let anybody see that," she said. "And if I could go back, I would give her a hug and say, 'It's OK. It's OK.'"

It was OK; Moore went on to become the highest-paid woman in the business, and she lifted other women as well. When she got a record $12.5 million for the 1996 movie "Striptease," other women in Hollywood demanded, and got, bigger paychecks themselves.

She also challenged the notion of things like whether a 40-year-old woman should wear a bikini; and after shaving her head for 1997's "G.I. Jane," how long a woman's hair should be when she reached a certain age.

Now, at 61, her hair hangs to her waist. "After I shaved my head, I think I just started to let my hair grow with the idea that you can have long hair if that's what you want," Moore said. "Who says that it's not okay? And I've heard it many times. If I didn't think I liked how I looked, then I would cut it."

And in "The Substance," she's once again asking, Why do we think this way?

In one scene, in which her character is going on a date, she looks in the mirror, applies makeup, then purposely smears it. She said the process of shooting that scene was difficult. "Emotionally, that idea that I think many of us have been where we're trying to make something better. and then we just keep making it worse," she said. "For me, it's one of the most heart-wrenching moments in the whole film. And it was at least 15 takes each time. And so, by the end, my face was raw."

What happens to her after a day like that? "You go fall apart. You just go fall into your bed!" she laughed.

Smith asked, "For you personally, today, when you look in the mirror, what do you think?"

"Uhm, it fluctuates," said Moore. "Some days I look and I'm like, Wow. That's pretty good.  And some days, I catch myself dissecting, hyper-focusing on, you know, things that I don't like. The difference is, now I can catch myself. I can go, Yeah, I don't like that loose skin. But, you know, it is what it is. So, I'm gonna make the best of what is, as opposed to chasing what isn't."

Smith asked, "Give me an example of that, something that maybe you chased that, in retrospect, you lost something?"

"I used to think, Oh, like my face, it's like, oh so, like, chubby. I have no angles. I have nothing. And then you're like, Yeah, but now it's, like, loose! I wouldn't mind some of that chubbiness back, in the right places!"

Moore has three grown children with ex-husband Bruce Willis, who is now living with dementia. She says when she's in town she tries to visit every week. "The important thing is just to meet him where he's at, as opposed to being attached to who he was, how he was. Because, again, that only just puts you in a place of loss versus being in the present, meeting him where he's at, and finding the joy and the loving of just all that is where he is."

It seems Demi Moore has found peace with the things that are beyond her control – a wisdom and a freedom that, if we're lucky enough, come naturally in a long and interesting life.

"I think that I'm sitting in a different place in my life than I've ever been," she said. "I have the most autonomy. My children are grown. I have my most independence that I've ever had. And so, I just am really trying to focus on what really brings me joy. I don't like to project and say, 'Well, this is where I want to be,' because I don't know. I don't know where I'm gonna be. But I know that it's an opportunity for me to actually have a good time!"

      
For more info:

• "The Substance" opens in theaters September 20

     
Story produced by John D'Amelio. Editor: Lauren Barnello.