"You got to get back": Mpls. author pens book on stages of grief after losing daughter
MINNEAPOLIS -- A Minneapolis father is putting his pain into words after experiencing a devastating loss.
Lehman Riley is the author of "Losing Lizzy: A Story of Grief," the latest book in his "Papa Lemon's Little Wanderers" series. The book is named after the Rileys' 23-year-old daughter Tianna Elizabeth Riley, known to friends and family as Lizzy. The Hopkins High School graduate was found dead on June 6, 2020. Crystal police launched a murder and death investigation.
"It felt like Mike Tyson gave me an upper cut," Riley said of the news. "I grab the phone and it's the Crystal police and I'm like, 'Who is this?' She said, 'We are sorry to inform you your daughter Tianna has passed away.'"
The loss left Riley navigating grief and struggling to write.
"I truly didn't get my feet under me, truly where I could function and read and really socialize, [for] close to two years," Riley said. "I was encouraged to write this book...gentle nudges."
Those nudges came from friends encouraging Riley to find the words.
"'Lehman, can you write this book? Our kids need something with all the trauma,'" Riley said of one request. "I can't, I can't do it."
After about four requests the Minneapolis author decided to try.
"I started writing but I got maybe a paragraph in and the pain was just so -- I can't describe even describe it, how painful it was and I couldn't go no further," he said.
After starts and stops, Lehman completed the book "Losing Lizzy: A Story of Grief." It tackles the five stages of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
"This is for my love for my daughter, and I don't want another family member to go through what I did," Riley said.
He described his daughter Lizzy as pretty, smart and artistic with a sense of humor that matched his own.
"We would always joke a lot...she was so smart, she would always challenge me ever since she was a little kid. 'Dad, this doesn't make sense? Why do we have to do this?'" Riley said with a laugh.
Now, Lizzy is challenging her father to work through grief and keep going.
"Lehman, you got to get back, you got to get back. Tianna wouldn't want you to continue this way," Riley said of feeling stuck in grief. "I miss my baby girl but I'm better. I know she's in a better place. With this book I just want people to understand your grief is your grief. The reason why I wrote this book is to help. "
Lehman Riley says he plans to start a scholarship in Lizzy's memory, donating a portion of each book sold to the fund. The funds would be awarded to a female, African American college student interested in art, like his daughter. Click here to learn more about "Losing Lizzy" and the Papa Lemon book series.