Terry Foster Tells His Friend's ALS Story: What It's Like To Get That Diagnosis

Read the first installment of this series HERE - "Terry Foster Tells Don Muirhead's ALS Story: 'This Is Probably Where I Am Going To Die.'

By Terry Foster
@TerryFoster971

Our neighborhood is made up of five houses that form one giant backyard. This is where the children play in the summer. And it is where we held our annual picnic filled with bratwursts, salads, chips, dessert and cheer.

It was the first time we talked to Don Muirhead as a group since he was diagnosed with ALS nearly two years ago. We wanted to tell him everything would be OK. That is sort of what you do with family and friends.

Don slowly walked with his wife Shelby. He looked perfectly healthy and ready to participate in our annual whiffle ball game between the parents and the children. We gathered around as if he were a pied piper, looking for any signs of good news.

The best news was his spirit. He put everybody at ease with jokes and stories and cheer. It was as if he was trying to make sure we were OK.

The families cursed the disease. Don did not, at least not to us.

Muirhead was still playing golf at the time. He used to hit tee shots 300 yards. His only hole in one was driven by a 7-iron that dropped the ball into the hole from 170 yards out.

The last time he played golf, he wasn't quite hitting his driver 170 yards because ALS was weakening his body.

He knew something was wrong when those thundering drives began to thud. They dipped to below 200 yards. His hands often cramped and he felt like his arms were getting smaller. Don was initially diagnosed with a pinched nerve in his hands. Doctors kept testing and finally after a year he was referred to the University of Michigan and DMC. It was discovered he had ALS or Lou Gehrig's disease.

"I noticed that my right hand was shrinking," Muirhead said. "I kept working out and this (the right) hand would cramp up real easy."

ALS or Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, is a fatal disease that affects the nervous system. Muirhead is fortunate because the disease has not prevented him from walking. However, he takes morphine for shortness of breath and pain.

"It is one of the lesser known diseases," said Muirhead who is 64. "It hits people mostly in their 60s. I feel sorry for the kids in their 20s and 30s that get it that have families. My kids are grown. They are married and they are doing alright. I got to see them grow up. The younger you are the faster it goes and once you get to a point like I did, it is starting to go a lot faster."

Muirhead is a brick layer and construction worker. He grew up in Highland Park, Detroit and Farmington Hills where he graduated from North Farmington High School.

For years he worked at the family construction company where he became an expert brick layer. After a while Muirhead settled an itch and moved to Asheville, N.C. just for the heck of it and a new adventure. That is where he built a new family. After a divorce he returned home to help expand the family business.

He loves projects and when he was diagnosed he wanted to make sure his wife Shelby could live in the best house possible.

Before losing use of his hands he redid the entire house. That included putting heated floors in in the family bathroom, ripping out carpet and putting hardwood floors throughout the house and putting in lighting and getting a new deck for the backyard.

He even rebuilt our adjoining mail boxes as weather and an unfortunate collision with our family car weakened the foundation. He also played golf, even as his game diminished. The game kept him sane and happy even as he became frustrated on the course.

"You appreciate everything you can do," Muirhead said. "I told a friend of mine why did it take me so long? I would have been such a good golfer if I had the same attitude that I've had the past year. You worry about so many things and when you get to this what is there really to worry about? Know what I mean? It puts everything in perspective."

Don and Shelby got the news at a University of Michigan clinic in Livonia.

"I've got bad news," the doctor said.

"It takes your breath away and you kind of feel numb," Muirhead said.

Don felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He survived two heart attacks and an aneurism, but he won't be able to dodge this.

"I told my brother that I took the hit for you guys. I have all the bad genes," Muirhead said.

Muirhead shrugs a lot as if to say "what can you do?"

The only thing he can do is take his medication and keep a great attitude. He is not going to let ALS or anything or anyone douse his spirit. Yes, there are tough moments. Yes, he cries and asks why? He is human. However, the daily goal is to make the most of his situation.

"It was kind of a relief finding out," Muirhead said. "I went a whole year not knowing. After that we got over it, had a few glasses of wine and talked about it. I said let's have a good attitude while we are going through all this. And that is the way we approached it, with a positive attitude because if you are negative you are not going to survive. Don't you agree?"

This is especially tough for his wife Shelby. Her first husband Mike died suddenly of a heart attack. Friends call her the black widow but "everybody says it with love so I take it," she said.

Good humor fuels them both. There is pain inside but they are enjoying every moment together.

"People are uncomfortable sometimes with our sense of humor," Shelby said. "Well then that's your problem."

Don shrugs again.

What are you going to do?

(This series concludes Thursday with the last round.)

(Foster can be reached at Terry.Foster@cbsradio.com)