'I'm the parent of a murdered child, that's who I am': Father remembers Aurora theater shooting 10 years later
On this 10-year anniversary of the Aurora theatre shooting, CBS4 is remembering the 12 innocent lives lost, and delving into the impact that shooting had across the state.
For one victim's father, July 20th is one of the best and then certainly the worst days of his life. July 20th is the day Tom Sullivan's son, Alex, was born, and it's the day Alex was murdered. It's also the day that Tom Sullivan's purpose in life changed forever.
"Sometimes I just look and think, 'I just can't believe he's not here...just can't believe it,'" Sullivan said.
It's been 10-years since his son's death, but time has done little to dull the pain. Sullivan said that he can't remember the man he was before July 20th, 2012. The day Alex as murdered while celebrating his 27th birthday at a movie theater.
"I'm not the same guy I was ten years ago. I lose the focus as to who he was and what he was like because of this," Sullivan explained.
Before his son's murder, he was an Air Force veteran and a Postal Service worker. Now he defines himself differently.
"I'm the parent of a murdered child, that's who I am," Sullivan told CBS4.
Instead of burying his grief, Sullivan has harnessed it, and become a powerful force for change. A year after the mass murder in the theater, he began testifying on gun bills at the State Legislature.
"I'm not seeing the changes. They're not hearing what it is we're talking about. I think, 'I've got to run for something," he recalled. "Meaghan said, 'Okay Dad, but you haven't got anything to wear.'"
He was elected to the State House in 2018, and wore his son's leather jacket every day as a reminder to everyone of who he was and why he was there. He led passage of the Red Flag Gun bill his first year, then, political reality hit. Two years passed before he was allowed to introduce another gun bill. This one addressing lost and stolen weapons.
"I said, 'Okay, let's run that.' And they were like, 'Ooh, they've taken too much. This is too much for everybody. This is too heavy. We're going to have to wait.' Wait? Wait, why?" Sullivan explained. "This is a public health crisis. It should be talked about on an every day basis."
It's his son, he said, that gets him through the hard days, but it's the nights when Alex comes back to his dreams that he treasures the most..
"A lot of times it's the little Alex who comes to me, and talks to me, and I can pick him up and stuff. I'm one of the luck ones. I do have dreams about him. You know, he lets me know how he's doing, and is there when I need him. Sometimes he even ages during the time. He starts out as the little guy and is just kind of you know, and then by the end, he gets... and then it's like, 'I've got to go, Dad,'" Sullivan said.
In some ways, it is as though he never left. And on the 10-year anniversary of his death, Sullivan did what he's done every year since his son was six-years-old, he went to the theater to see a movie with him.
"You know, Alex was right there in the middle of the theater, and that's where I got my seat yesterday, and watched the Thor movie, and the seat next to me was where he was sitting."
LINK: 10 years later, series of events will honor victims of Aurora movie theater shooting