For Families And Friends Of The Fallen, Every Day Is Memorial Day
CHICAGO (CBS) -- Memorial Day might be over, but for friends and relatives of military members who died in service, every day is a chance to remember.
Jim Frazier said people are too often worried they'll offend him by asking about his son, Jake, an Illinois Air National Guard member who was killed in action in Afghanistan in 2003.
"I always get a kick. You know, 'We don't want to remind you of your loss.' What? I live with it every day. We all do. When we've lost somebody, we're not going to forget. You can't remind us. So it's okay," he said.
Frazier, a member of Gold Star Families, and a coordinator for the U.S. Army's Survivor Outreach Services, said he encourages people to ask military families about their lost loved ones, and to listen to their stories.
"Don't be afraid of them. Offer your condolences, and then say, 'What was your loved one's name,' and then use their name, and say 'How old was he? Where did he go to school?' And then listen. It's all you have to do," he said.
U.S. Marine Capt. Christian Palmer said Memorial Day can be frustrating for veterans, and those who have lost a loved one in the line of duty, because too often the public confuses Memorial Day with Veterans Day or Independence Day.
"A lot of us are going to spend the day outraged, or shaming people into celebrating Memorial Day properly, reminding people it's not Veterans Day," he said.
The reservist at Naval Station Great Lakes said that's why he's made a point of having the Faces of the Fallen tribute displayed at Memorial Day events like one in Grant Park on Monday; so non-military people can understand the true meaning of the holiday.
"Rather than having a Memorial Day that's regretful, or bitter, or cynical, or caught up in the cynical sales, or treating it like the Fourth of July, you're able to use Memorial Day to restore your strength, and rededicate yourselves to everything they stood for, and to those ideals," he said.
Marine Cpl. Sara Medina, of Aurora – who was killed in a helicopter crash on a humanitarian mission in Nepal earlier this month – and Army Pvt. Aaron Toppen, of Frankfort – who was killed by friendly fire during a Taliban attack in Afghanistan last June – were added to the tribute on Monday.