DiCaro: A Cubs Fan's Guide To NLCS Survival -- And Beyond
By Julie DiCaro--
(CBS) With the start NLCS just around the corner Saturday night, Cubs fans are understandably a bit queasy. We've had our hearts broken before, and despite the rash of talking heads saying, "This year feels different," I beg to differ.
All the other postseason runs felt exactly like this. Ever since the wild-card game, I've been sticking mostly to the diet my doctor recommended when I had morning sickness (bananas, rice, applesauce, toast – no, I don't know why) to settle my fidgety stomach. But let's be honest, at some point during the NLCS, I'm going to want to eat actual food. The struggle is real.
To combat my exponentially increasing stress level, I went online and Googled "tips for stress." WebMD, in addition to convincing me I have at least three untreatable diseases, predictably came up big.
Here then, are 13 tips Cubs fans can use to survive the NLCS and beyond. Those tips are bolded, with my own suggestions added below.
1. Ask yourself what you can do about the sources of your stress. Think through the pros and cons. Take action where you can.
This is terrible advice. You can't do anything about the source of your stress other than yell at the TV or start cheering for the White Sox. Skip this one.
2. Keep a positive, realistic attitude. Accept that although you can't control certain things, you're in charge of how you respond.
Think about positive things such as Kyle Schwarber's rookie day apparel, the Cubs once leading the league in team fingers and the fact that there's no one on this Cubs team named Roberto Novoa or Kent Mercker.
3. Stand up for yourself in a polite way. Share your feelings, opinions or beliefs, instead of becoming angry, defensive or passive.
Translation: Don't take any crap from White Sox fans. They had their day.
4. Learn and practice relaxation techniques. Try breathing exercises, meditation, prayer, yoga or tai chi.
Or drinking yourself into a stupor. You've earned it!
5. Exercise regularly. You'll feel better and be more prepared to handle problems.
Get off the couch and walk to the fridge or concession stand regularly. If you can't do that, some arm circles should help. Do neck rolls while using the bathroom. Put the beer on the lowest shelf so you have do squats to reach it.
6. Eat healthy. Avoid too much sugar. Focus on fruits, vegetables, whole grains and lean protein. When you're stressed, you'll probably want less-nutritious comfort foods, but if you overdo them, they'll add to your problems.
One of those Bloody Marys with lots of shrimp and bacon on stick seems to fit the bill, as does deep dish pizza.
7. Try to manage your time wisely.
Give yourself as least 15 minutes to figure out what channel the game is on (I have to ask Twitter what channel FS1 is every single time). Give yourself 10 more minutes to log onto Twitter. Don't forget to schedule in bathroom breaks. And beer runs.
8. Say no, where you can, to things that would add more stress to your life.
Don't watch the game with people who like to hang out at Sluggers in flip-flops. Don't get into discussions about Derrick Rose's durability. Don't watch the Bears. Don't think about the bullpen roster.
9. Make time for hobbies and interests.
Interests like breathing without vomiting and not screaming "just leave me alone!" at your family and co-workers on game days.
10. Get enough rest and sleep. Your body needs time to recover from stressful events.
If you've followed tip No. 6, this one should take care of itself.
11. Don't rely on alcohol, drugs or food to help against stress. Ease up on caffeine, too.
Wrong. Eat and drink your feelings to your heart's content. You've got 107 years of futility to eat and drink away. Now is the perfect time to try Malort. Or goat.
12. Spend time with people you love.
You love Kris Bryant. You love Kyle Schwarber. You love Jorge Soler. Let's not overthink this.
13. Talk with a counselor or take a stress management class for more help.
OK, but the NLCS starts Saturday, so time is short. Instead of wasting your precious time (see tip No. 7), consider over-sharing your feelings on Twitter or Facebook. Or better yet, call into your local sports radio station and talk about your darkest fears and everything that's upsetting you. Don't feel obligated to stick to sports topics. Make sure to start your confessional by giving your credentials (i.e. number of years cheering for the Cubs, season-ticket holder status, etc) that make your opinions count more. Hosts love that.
Some combination of these tips should get you through the next week and beyond. Maybe. If all else fails, watch this on repeat until first pitch on Saturday night and remember: Baseball is fun.
These Cubs are having fun. And whatever happens in 2015, the next five-plus years are going to be one hell of a ride.
Julie DiCaro is an update anchor and columnist for 670 The Score. She previously worked for 15 years as a lawyer in criminal and family court. Follow Julie on Twitter @JulieDiCaro or on Facebook. The views expressed on this page are those of the author, not CBS Local Chicago or our affiliated television and radio stations.