Hurley's Picks: The Tom Brady Experience in 2022 is no fun to watch

BOSTON -- I never thought it'd come to this.

Sure, I understood that Tom Brady wouldn't play football forever. But if the play on the field got ugly, that was supposed to be due to the inevitability of nature. Brady would one day not be great, but that day would only come because of a physical decline.

The most insanely competitive athlete since Michael Jordan was never going to check out mentally. Not in a million years.

Sadly, though, that appears to be the case. At least to a degree. And my once-steadfast belief that I'd always savor every game played by the greatest quarterback of all time has reached an expiration date.

Watching Brady and the Bucs this year is no fun at all.

Obviously, a cursory Google search explains most -- or all -- of the reason for Brady appearing to be halfway-invested in his 2022 season. And while he may be a mega-celebrity and a salesman to the rich and a larger-than-life sports figure ... he's still a human. He still bleeds. It would be soulless to try to criticize or take shots at a guy while every media outlet under the sun reports on his and Gisele's every separate move.

But the football aspect of it all can't be separated from his personal life. With all of his documentary series and all of his behind-the-scenes access to his life, Brady has made it so that his football life is tied to his real life. It's all intertwined, and his addiction to football seems to be at the root of his familial problems.

Brady didn't help matters this by saying that going off to play a football season is ... akin to a soldier shipping off to fight a war. It was a clunky analogy, no doubt, one that will bring about criticism from all corners of the world. But it also shows the mental and emotional tornado he appears to be stuck in this year.

Yet he's been acting like someone else for a while. After his 11-day absence from training camp -- which was a truly unprecedented move -- he fired off a couple of chuckles, fed into the "Masked Singer" rumors, and promptly tried to sell some underwear on Twitter. After the joke of a roughing the passer penalty that benefited him in Week 5, Brady tried to add to the comedy by saying, "I don't throw flags. What I do throw is tablets." That was, of course, a reference to his early-season temper tantrum. And after cursing out his offensive line -- a day after Brady skipped a walkthrough and meetings so that he could look miserable while attending his former boss' swanky wedding in New York City -- he threw some more chucklebombs at Jim Gray by saying, "It's a bad day when there's more F-bombs than touchdowns."

To be fair, there are still some flashes of Brady's football greatness. This pass last week was insane:

So was this one:

He's still fifth in the NFL in passing yards and is tied for 12th in touchdown passes, with the seventh-best passer rating in the league. He's also thrown the fourth-most passes across the NFL. All of that, at age 45, is patently absurd. And it perhaps lends some belief that eventually -- maybe after the Week 11 bye, for example -- things will click into place and Brady will once again play and act like his usual self.

But for now, seeing Brady skipping work and yelling at his teammates a day later, all while looking like he wants to be anywhere but on the field playing for the Buccaneers, it's just no fun to watch. It's joyless -- for him, and for the viewer.

(Home team in CAPS; Wednesday lines)

ARIZONA (-2) over New Orleans
This game stinks. I'm not the anti-Thursday Night Football guy. In fact, I love it. The Jaguars-Titans Color Rush/Pee Stain games were some of the finest times of my life. And I'm also a bit different, I guess. Remember that 6-6 tie between the Cardinals and Seahawks on Sunday Night Football a few years back that everyone dumped on as the worst game ever? I loved that game!

So this year, when the Colts and Broncos gave us that utter fiasco on a Thursday night, I thought it was actually a lot of fun. But last week's Commanders-Bears display was tough to get through. This week feels similar. And even I have my limits.

I'll take the home team on the short week over the banged-up and mediocre-as-all-hell Saints. But this is not an encouraging foray into the world of NFL broadcasting for the Prime people.

Atlanta (+6) over CINCINNATI
I'm sick of waiting for the Bengals to snap out of the Super Bowl haze. I'm already starting to feel the same way about Zac Taylor as I did a year ago at this time. I'm starting to realize that adding La'el Collins, Alex Cappa and Ted Karras is not a magic fix to offensive line woes. I'm seeing the Bengals as ... average.

And I'm seeing Mr. Smith's Atlanta Falcons as frisky. They might have surpassed the frisky level, to be honest. They might be halfway-decent.

DALLAS (-7) over Detroit
Dan Campbell is 9-24-1 as a head coach. That's incredible. Not super relevant to this game. Just stunning, though.

I do have to be honest. After taking Dallas +6 last Sunday night in Philly, I had to sit through a prime-time game where I was hoping Mike McCarthy's team played smarter than its opponent. It was BRUTAL! The Cowboys almost put it together but of course fell apart late.

For now, having the Cowboys 4-2 despite not having Dak Prescott for five weeks counts as an accomplishment. But man, if you're a Cowboys fan, you have to have that sinking feeling that you already know how this year will end. It's crazy.

TENNESSEE (-2.5) over Indianapolis
I'm of the belief that you can't count Mike Vrabel as being in the Bill Belichick coaching tree, because Vrabel never coached for Belichick. He coached under Luke Fickell, Urban Meyer and Bill O'Brien before getting his head coaching opportunity. Surely he learned plenty from Bill, but he's not in the coaching tree.

Yet if there is one massive similarity in Vrabel and his former head coach, it's that he knows how to get his team to whoop some tail coming out of the bye week.

Since Vrabel became head coach, the Titans are 4-0 coming out of their bye week, winning by an average of 20.5 points per game. Just whoopings -- and that includes 2020, when COVID weirdness forced them to take an early Week 3 bye and then play in Buffalo on a Tuesday night. The Titans whipped the Bills 42-16.

Belichick and the Patriots used to always do that. Maybe not so much anymore, but certainly during Vrabel's tenure. So let's just trust that the pattern will hold here after the Titans' early bye.

Green Bay (-5.5) over WASHINGTON
Now, look, hey. The Packers? Not great. They almost lost at home to the Patriots and their third-string quarterback. They did lose at home to the Jets. The intro to this column talked about a joyless quarterback in Tampa, but Tom Brady doesn't hold a candle to Aaron Rodgers in the "Wish I Wasn't Here" department.

All of that being said ... with everything being bandied about regarding Daniel Snyder this week ... and with the starting quarterback heading out due to injury ... one can't help but wonder what the focus level is like for Ron Rivera's bunch right now.

Tampa Bay (-10.5) over CAROLINA
Likewise, the Bucs are just kind of sleepwalking through their season, and they're probably not good enough to shake that off and make a championship run. But ... they are good enough to roll the Panthers. The Panthers are borderline useless.

If the Bucs lose to a bad team for a second straight week, then the NFL world will have some stories to discuss. But even a half-in Brady should be able to lead a blowout win over that team right now.

New York Giants (+3) over JACKSONVILLE
The Giants rock. There's no denying it. And while I have some hesitation about their ability to win four straight games, and while I think the Jaguars might be a little too good to lose a fourth straight game ... what can I say? I'm sucked up in Giants fever, baby!

BALTIMORE (-6.5) over Cleveland
The only thing the Browns can do is run the ball. Unfortunately for them, the Ravens can stop the run.

And while Baltimore's got some real-deal fourth-quarter issues (wooooofffff!), they have Lamar Jackson going up against a defense that just got shredded by Bailey Zappe. I think they should be fine for this one.

New York Jets (+1) over DENVER
Do I also have JETS FEVER? What is wrong with me?

I'd probably have more faith in a Broncos bounce-back if not for Russell Wilson's injury. I know everyone makes fun of Wilson, and he's brought a lot of that on himself with his Mr. Unlimited crap and, well, everything else he does and says. But if he's playing through a torn lat?! Hello. Ow. That's a challenge. I anticipate more performances like his Monday night second half until he gets shelved with that injury.

A torn lat! Stop playing football with that! (Rhyme here was unintentional.)

Seattle (+6) over LOS ANGELES CHARGERS
Have the Seahawks become so underrated that we're close to overrating them? Tune in Sunday to find out.

LAS VEGAS (-7) over Houston
Prior to their bye week, the Raiders showed that they have a real tough time winning close games. In their four losses, their average margin of defeat was 3.5 points.

So they're not as bad as their 1-4 record suggests, and they also shouldn't have to worry about a close game with Houston.

As for the Texans, I don't know. Maybe the dumping of Jack Easterby will free them all up to feel and play their best. I have no idea. I just know that the Easterby storyline has been one of the funniest plot points in NFL history. I'm glad it happened, I'm sad it's over, and I'll always cherish the days of watching the Patriots' character coach ascend to a position of power for inexplicable reasons. And I look forward to watching the movie. (Ralph Fiennes could just grab his old Voldemort outfit and play him. Hey, that's a great idea.)

Kansas City (-2.5) over SAN FRANCISCO
The Chiefs are great. The Niners are not. This line is stupid. Let's move along before it changes.

Pittsburgh (+7) over MIAMI
I don't like anything going on with the Miami Dolphins. I definitely don't like Tua Tagovailoa playing in this game. Maybe that makes me a soft, new-age millennial type. Or maybe it makes me a human being who manages to keep at least a sliver of my consciousness existing outside of the football realm. 

NEW ENGLAND (-8) over Chicago
Whether it's Bailey Zappe or Mac Jones, it doesn't really matter. The Bears might not crack six points all night. Because the Bears stank.

I know Bill Belichick disagrees with me. But they don't call me The Bad Boy of Making Picks for nothing.

OK. Fine. They don't call me The Bad Boy of Making Picks at all. You got me. Still. Nevertheless. Regardless! Patriots by 30.

Last week: 7-7
Season: 45-46-3

You can email Michael Hurley or find him on Twitter @michaelFhurley.

In:
• Featured