Hurley's Picks: Ranking the most dire situations across the NFL

BOSTON -- It's tough when you can't even make it to Halloween without being able to even pretend you have a chance to make the playoffs. Alas, football is cruel, and the reality for a number of teams across the league is that they'll have to find some reason to make their games meaningful every week for the next three months.

It's rough.

But who's in the worst shape? Whose outlook is so bleak both in the short term and the long term that there's reason to just feel bad, bad, bad?

Let's rank 'em!

Exempt: Chicago Bears

The Bears are 1-5, in line for their third straight miserable season. Justin Fields may not be the guy. Ditto Matt Eberflus.

But the Bears are exempt from being miserable in the long term, because they currently own the top two picks in the draft.

Will the Bears screw up both of those picks? Maybe! (Probably?) But for now, a wave of optimism hovers in the background of this useless football season in Chicago.

Exempt: Arizona Cardinals

Why are they exempt? Because they're the Arizona Cardinals. They're not supposed to be good. They're 231-335 since moving to Phoenix in 1988. They've won multiple playoff games in a postseason exactly one time in franchise history. They're just there. Can't call them hopeless if they've never had hope.

5. Giants

The mistakes of hiring Joe Judge and giving Daniel Jones a massive contract will linger for at least another year in New York. The Giants have pooped away all of the positivity they generated with last year's improbable run, Brian Daboll's magic touch has cooled, and Daniel Jones will carry a $47 million cap hit (!!!!) next season.

Last year was very cool, though.

4. Patriots

In the past, if you spent time talking about Bill Belichick getting fired or traded or deciding to retire, then you were engaging in the Hot Take Economy. Now, though, it just seems to be a sad state of affairs. The team that did everything right for so long suddenly seems to be aimless, with no real easy way out.

On the plus side, the Patriots will have a high draft pick and boatload of cap space next year, thus allowing them to navigate their way back to being competitive if they hire the right people and make the right moves. That's all a big if, though.

3. Panthers

A lot of highly touted quarterbacks start their careers slowly. So Bryce Young's six-touchdown, four-interception, 78.7 passer rating through five games isn't a nightmare in and of itself. But with C.J. Stroud throwing nine touchdowns and one interception with a 96.4 rating through his first six games, the Panthers are left wondering if they took the wrong guy at No. 1 overall.

They also have to wonder why they hired Frank Reich, if they were just going to end up with an 0-6 record. And they traded their first-round pick along with D.J. Moore to Chicago in order to get that No. 1 pick. Ay caramba!

2. Broncos

You have to respect a team willing to double down. That's what the Broncos did. A year after trading two first-round picks and two second-round picks (plus more) for Russell Wilson, Denver tried to fix the hot garbage situation by trading another first-round pick and another second-round pick to New Orleans in order to get Sean Payton as their head coach.

They're 1-5, and they absolutely stink. Perhaps in the coming offseason, they'll find some more future firsts and seconds to trade away for someone else who's not going to help.

1. Hurley's Picks 

Yup, that's right, folks. Nobody's worse than me. I took it on the chin last week with a disgusting 5-10 week. Embarrassing. Is there hope for the future? Well ... that depends how this week goes.

And we have a rule around here: When you go 5-10, you lose the right to comment on any games. All those fun little things you want to say about the football games? Can it, loser. Nobody wants to hear it. 

So here you go. Let's hope we can at least climb up these power rankings by next week.

(Home team in CAPS; Thursday lines)

Jacksonville (+2) over NEW ORLEANS
TAMPA BAY (-2.5) over Atlanta
Las Vegas (-3) over CHICAGO
Cleveland (-3) over INDIANAPOLIS
Detroit (+3) over BALTIMORE
Buffalo (-8.5) over NEW ENGLAND
Washington (-2.5) over NEW YORK GIANTS
Arizona (+7.5) over SEATTLE
LOS ANGELES RAMS (-3) over Pittsburgh
KANSAS CITY (-5.5) over Los Angeles Chargers
Green Bay (-1) over DENVER
Miami (+2.5) over PHILADELPHIA
San Francisco (-7) over MINNESOTA

Last week: 5-10
Season: 42-47-4

You can email Michael Hurley or find him on Twitter @michaelFhurley.