Serving Life Sentence, Pamela Smart Remorseful Over Husband's Death
BOSTON (CBS) – Pamela Smart knows the hate she's felt from the public since her 1991 conviction for the conspiracy to murder her husband Gregg has never weakened.
"The hate is really hard. The hate makes me cry a lot still," Smart said in an exclusive interview with WBZ-TV's Paula Ebben.
Smart's husband was killed in 1990 by Billy Flynn who, then 16 years old, was in a sexual relationship with the school teacher.
When asked if she can see why people perceive that Smart has no remorse, Smart said she does feel some guilt about her actions.
"I do have remorse I have a lot of remorse for the things that I did do. But I cannot have remorse for something I didn't do," Smart told WBZ-TV.
Related: Pamela Smart Says Husband's Death Something 'I Have To Carry For The Rest Of My Life'
What she will admit to is a risqué relationship with a 16-year-old student in a New Hampshire school where she worked
"It is the hugest regret of my life," Smart said during the jailhouse interview.
"I know that if I didn't have this relationship, Gregg would still be alive, and he deserves to be alive. He was a great person."
But Smart insists she never told her teen lover to kill her husband in their Derry condo.
Flynn and the last of the three young men who helped him in the 1990 shooting death of Gregg Smart will all be out of prison after Thursday.
Smart says their story naming her as the mastermind of the plot was cooked up among them in jail.
"Why would he lie, Bill Flynn, about me? Because if he didn't lie then he was going to get the death penalty," Smart told Ebben.
Smart said she has received an unfair treatment, receiving life in prison despite not being present when her husband was killed.
"Something is not right that people who are admitted murderers, according to them - they did this - are actually walking free, forgiven," Smart said.
"I understand that when people are crying on TV it's hard not to feel sorry for them - but somewhere Gregg got lost in all of this. I don't even want people to feel sorry for me I want them to feel sorry for him."
While Smart said she comes off as confident in media appearances, that is not how she feels as she sits in her prison cell.
"Absolutely, I do cry. But I just really don't cry in public and I feel like people want to see me breaking down," Smart confessed.
Smart also contends that her tabloid-fueled trial and the books and movies it spawned have etched her reputation as an evil temptress in stone.
An HBO documentary this year examines the media frenzy around her case.
Smart even found herself at prison movie night watching the Nicole Kidman film "To Die For," based on her story.
"They didn't actually know it was based on my case. But I did," Smart recalls.
Last week the author of "To Die For" released a statement asking for her parole.
Every appeal in New Hampshire has failed, leaving Smart just one possibility. New Hampshire Gov. Maggie Hassan would have to agree to look at the case.
What would smart say to Hassan if given the opportunity?
"I would ask her to look at it as if one of her own children were on trial. Would she think this was fair?," Smart said.