Scott Zolak's Annual Memorial Day Speech
Memorial Day is a glorious time to be an American. Every year, Scott Zolak delivers a stirring speech to get everyone ready. You can read last year's here, and prepare yourself for the 2016 version below.
Friday is the big day, because it gets you going, gets you thinking about the three-day holiday weekend. And you say "holiday," well, it ain't Easter. It ain't the Fourth of July. It ain't Christmas.
I know a lot of people, and they say, "Hey, Zo."
And I'll take you back to December. It's that time of year, everybody's rushing around, it's the end of football season, it's Christmas, you're fighting for parking spaces at the mall. And you say, "Hey, kid, what's Christmas mean?"
And he says, what? "Santa ... presents, we get gifts ... we gotta wear itchy sweaters"?
No. It's Jesus' birthday. Right? But we forget that. Because Christmas has a different meaning now, right? It's all commercialized.
And I sit here every Tuesday, and I do a show with a crotchety old guy, as does Marc Bertrand, by the name of Dan Shaughnessy. He made one of the most anti-American statements about the Fourth of July with what that day means to us as a country and as a person and as an American citizen. But Dan Shaughnessy brought up one hell of a point the other day. The Fourth of July isn't about patriotism, even though it's 1776 and you signed letters with feathers and ink.
The real day about being a patriot is Memorial Day.
Because if I say Memorial Day, what do you think it's about? A 6-year-old, what is it? Hot dogs? Fireworks? A pool? Inflatable toy? Maybe beer, if you're an old man. Maybe beer if you're a young kid. Maybe you just turned 21. Maybe you're like our intern, who's 20, can't really drink yet, but he's ready to party this weekend. Maybe it's about summer. Maybe it's about -- sniff sniff -- cocoa butter suntan lotion.
Well, ask yourself again, folks, what Memorial Day means. We live in an area where Tom Brady is out there, and there's this thing going on out there about defending the wall. Right? Defend the wall! Free Brady! Patriots yeah!
That's not a real wall. There's a real wall out there that people are giving their lives up for -- the great men and women of our armed forces that protect our real wall, that allow us to be sports talk show radio hosts. Maybe you want to be something else. Maybe you're liberal. Maybe you're conservative.
It don't matter, because those people aren't; they're all one.
We fight together and we stand as one. So recognize that this Monday. Take the time to thank the people who protect you and allow you to sleep in your beds at night under the cloud of darkness, in safety.
And also remember this as Americans: We own that ass.
Yes we do.
We own it.
I salute the troops this weekend. Sarge Salute of the day. The hell with Sarge; I'm saluting them. Take the time Monday to salute them. Thank a soldier if you see them. Maybe if you're in line, buy them a coffee. Maybe cup solo, sipping on Dunkin' ice. You know? It's all in.
So there you go. Enjoy your Memorial Day. Be safe. Be smart.