Why is everyone so angry?
BOSTON - The cardinal rule used to be "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." But every time we scroll on social media, there's a new viral video of someone arguing, complaining, or throwing punches.
So why is everyone so angry?
According to a poll taken just before the pandemic, 84% of people think Americans are angrier than a generation before and 42% admitted that they themselves were angrier.
But what makes us so angry?
We asked online and logged more than 200 answers. Money was number one, with 32 responses mentioning the cost of living and the gap between the haves and have nots.
There were 30 votes for lousy politicians and a broken political system. Twenty-three blamed social media trolls and the peddling of unrealistic perfection.
Fourteen mentioned being overworked and underpaid. There were also votes for COVID, bad weather, traffic, and the media.
So, we know what's happening in the world, but what's happening in our brains? Why do we get angry and snap?
"I wouldn't say people are choosing to be miserable," said Dr. Lisa Barrett, a professor of psychology at Northeastern University. She is the author of two books on the brain and emotions and has research appointments at Massachusetts General Hospital.
"The brain's most important job is regulating the body," Barrett said. "And your body is always sending signals back to the brain to say what's going on in here?"
Barrett says to do that, your brain is constantly predicting what might happen next and how your body should prepare. If the predictions are right, then things go smoothly.
But if there's uncertainty, your body gets worked up. "Uncertainty is really hard on a brain," Barrett said.
And uncertainty is 2023's brand. "The world that we live in isn't just filled with uncertainty that gets us worked up, it's also filled with easy answers about who is the cause of that unpleasantness," Barrett said.
It is easy to find a driver, someone at the airport, a rival sports fan to blame and social media doesn't help.
"There's a lot more ambiguity online than there is in a face-to-face conversation, you just have less to work with," Barrett said. "Mood wise, it's just going to feel more edgy to you."
Dr. Michael Koren is a psychologist at Brighter Life Therapy in Arlington. He teaches anger management classes.
"When people say control your anger actually what they really want is to prevent aggressive behavior," Koren said.
Koren shared some tips on how to keep your cool. He said take some deep breaths to calm your body, take a timeout if you need to, talk to someone you trust about your emotions, and use assertive communications, not angry accusations.
"This might include 'I' statements like for example, when you don't take out the dishes, I feel disrespected, or I feel angry," Koren said.
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