NFL Reportedly Lifts Ban On Certain Touchdown Celebrations, Allows 'Spontaneous Exuberance'
By Michael Hurley, CBS Boston
BOSTON (CBS) -- The NFL has officially solved all of its problems.
Shortly after we learned that the NFL succumbed to years (nay -- decades!) of the public at large demanding that regular-season overtime periods must be shortened from 15 minutes to 10 minutes, we've now learned that dancing and celebrating will no longer be outlawed.
Roger Goodell is expected to tell NFL owners group celebrations, using ball as prop after TDs, going to ground, snow angels are now allowed.
— Tom Pelissero (@TomPelissero) May 23, 2017
Prolonged acts, miming weapons, offensive gestures, sexually suggestive stuff still expected to be banned. That includes twerking. Sorry, AB
— Tom Pelissero (@TomPelissero) May 23, 2017
Tom Pelissero of USA Today delivered the news before adding the most humorous nugget of them all:
Goodell has been meeting with players for months on this. Emphasis on spontaneous exuberance. Result should be more fun, fewer flags.
— Tom Pelissero (@TomPelissero) May 23, 2017
It took months of meetings for Roger Goodell to determine that yes, athletes can and should be allowed to display emotion while they are playing arguably the most intense sport on the planet.
Good work, Rog. Really earning that $34 million salary.
But really, the NFL as a whole deserves a round of applause for tackling this very serious, most important issue of touchdown celebrations.
I mean, is the league still clueless when it comes to addressing the complicated issue of domestic violence? Of course. Is there a very serious potential case of collusion taking place among owners who refuse to sign Colin Kaepernick (after the NFL received public backlash for allowing Kaepernick to protest the national anthem)? You betcha. Are the rules still difficult for even the most ardent football fans to understand at times? Yes indeed. Is the league still scratching and clawing to defeat former players in court in an effort to give them less compensation to deal with their debilitating and life-altering injuries? Certainly! Has Pro Football Hall of Famer Nick Buoniconti recently accused the league of simply waiting for these players to die instead of properly caring for them? Why yes, that has indeed taken place.
But fear not, because the warden is letting the inmates show "spontaneous exuberance" during their sports games*! Sure, maybe it was just common sense to not penalize players for pretending to play basketball for a quick second, but don't worry about that for now! All is well in the NFL!
*Just not too much exuberance. And not exuberance that lasts too long. Just the right amount of exuberance will be tolerated.
You can email Michael Hurley or find him on Twitter @michaelFhurley.