How parents can help children cope with anxiety
BOSTON - Many of our kids are stressed these days, but sometimes parents can make an anxious child feel even more anxious. Dr. Mallika Marshall has tips on what parents can do to make kids feel better and not worse.
Your approach will depend somewhat on the age of your child. But the first thing you want to do is identify what triggers your child's anxiety. Is it getting shots, taking tests, or speaking in public? In most cases, your child can't or shouldn't avoid the triggers, like going to the doctor or taking a test, but knowing what worries them can help you address their fears.
Listen carefully to your child and empathize, telling them that you understand how they feel, that it's normal, and that they're not alone. And reassure them that their anxiety will lessen over time. If your child keeps wondering "What happens if" - What if I fail my test? What if the other kids laugh at me? What happens if you leave but I need to talk to you? Discuss a contingency plan. The teacher or coach will call me. You can take a break and get a sip of water. And teach your children relaxation techniques like deep breathing or mindfulness exercises.
I also like the idea of having your kids write down their fears and put them in a "worry jar" which allows your children to park or contain their fears so they can emotionally move on. Most importantly, what you don't want to do is tell them what they're feeling is wrong or irrational, or silly. And you don't want to tell them "Just get over it" or "Man up." If your child is suffering from chronic or debilitating anxiety, speak to your pediatrician for more advice and a mental health referral.