Hot Take Police Arrest Gregg Doyel For Lighting Solar Flare Ahead Of Patriots-Colts
BOSTON (CBS) -- The Hot Take Police are always busy, but nobody's kept them busier over the years than Gregg Doyel.
The Indianapolis Star columnist loves to rile up the masses (and remind them that he's a huge, major, big-time badass), and so he often finds himself being stuffed into the back of a Hot Take Police cruiser.
That's just the bad-boy lifestyle that Doyel's chosen to live.
This week, Doyel sent a blistering-hot piece of writing into the world, claiming the cheating Patriots are sickening. Almost immediately upon the story being published, the Hot Take Police were called into action.
Doyel wrote:
The Patriots, meanwhile, look to be as good as ever — and this is a franchise with four Super Bowl titles since 2001.
Sickening, isn't it?
If this is me playing the lame homer card, fine. The Patriots cheated the team in my city. Residents of Indianapolis and the surrounding areas, you give the Colts the best you've got: money, emotion, more. The Patriots rigged the AFC title game. Cheated the Colts. Cheated you.
Sickening.
That's one hot take, baby!
Doyel kept going:
Should the Colts concede a likely defeat, in other words, and lean on Luck's unavailability as a crutch? In a word: No. In two words: (Expletive) no.
"Yow! Bad boy of writing over here!" shouted arresting officer Rich Shertenlieb.
"Somewhere, Guy Fieri has just made another donkey sauce ball for him," fellow arresting officer Fred Toucher said.
The Hot Take Police had some fun with Doyel's epic story and it ends, appropriately, with some "Click Click Boom" from Saliva. Listen below:
Later, CBSBostonSports.com's Michael Hurley, who wrote a story mocking Doyel's this week, stopped by to offer some thoughts.
"It's such a sad pandering to the fans," Hurley said. "It's almost like he's going the extra mile to try to prove to the fans that they should be mad about this. 'You guys pay money, you guys give your heart. You should be mad about what I'm telling you to be mad about.' And I think most Colts fans are like, 'Dude. Shut up.'"
Even Colts fans can't be buying what Doyel is selling.
"The fans are probably like, 'You're making us look like whiny little babies. We know that the deflated footballs had nothing to do with it. Stop it.' And he keeps saying 'rigged, like 'they rigged the AFC Championship Game.' I don't think he knows what that word means, because rigging means you set it up so that you're definitely going to win because of the thing you're doing," Hurley said. "I didn't really want to write that story, but [Doyel's] was so bad. If you go to the Indy Star now, they added an editor's note: 'Do not look directly into the story, because it will burn your eyes out. It is too scorching hot.'"