A Tour De Force Of Belichickian Saltiness At AFC Coaches Breakfast
By Matt Dolloff, CBS Boston
BOSTON (CBS) -- Bill Belichick always provides a bottomless trove of unintended hilarity when he speaks with reporters. He was once again in prime form Tuesday morning at the annual AFC Coaches Breakfast, delivering a tour de force of inescapable saltiness on a number of topics related to the Patriots and NFL.
It took about four seconds for the salt to seep through, as Belichick took a seat and then pushed a bunch of microphones (including one from the NFL Network) away from him to make some elbow room. According to Giants beat writer Jordan Raanan, it was his "first move after arriving 20 minutes late."
Bill Belichick don't like no stinkin' microphones. Too funny #nfl pic.twitter.com/j3lJOFArUc
— Jordan Raanan (@JordanRaanan) March 22, 2016
SEE ALSO: Bill Belichick Press Conference Do's And Don'ts
Belichick had a few decidedly salt-less answers, the most surprising of which came when asked about the time he recently spent with musician Kid Rock, whose real name is Robert James Ritchie. "Bobby's a great guy." 'Scuse me?
Most of Belichick's time spent "answering" questions just packs the salt to the brim, and Tuesday's breakfast was no different. He gave tons of two-and-three-word answers, and even just gave a shrug at one question.
At this point, it should come as no surprise (perhaps even less) when Belichick meets with reporters and immediately behaves as if he'd rather be literally anywhere else in the world.
Here are some of the highlights of the "answers" he gave to the media...
On what the AFC Coaches Breakfast means to him: "Part of the exciting week of the owners meetings."
On new NFL injury tracking data: "I have no idea. I'm sure it's great. I'm sure it's great."
On whether he's seen any of Chris Hogan's lacrosse games: "Yeah but that doesn't have anything to do with this."
On DeflateGate and Robert Kraft's letter to Roger Goodell: "I think he covered it."
On how new Patriots tight end Martellus will fit in with the team: 'I've answered that question five times.'
On Bennett's issues in Chicago: "Go ask the Bears."
On whether having 11 picks in the upcoming draft is a 'good number', the NFL implementing RFID technology to track player data, how much longer he wants to coach in the NFL, and how Chris Hogan's deep lacrosse background translates to his career in the NFL: "I don't know."
Here are more tweets highlighting the best (or worst, depending on your perspective) moments of Belichick's latest masterpiece...
I love the smell of a Belichick press conference in the morning.
— Cindy Boren (@CindyBoren) March 22, 2016
In person you can sometimes see Belichick hold back a smile after a particularly vague answer. Sometimes he just knows he nailed it.
— Kevin Clark (@bykevinclark) March 22, 2016
Belichick: "I'm just trying to answer your questions. Anything to help you guys out."
— Mark Daniels (@MarkDanielsPJ) March 22, 2016
Belichick gave a good answer about grooming coaching talent! pic.twitter.com/UAbpEwwRID
— Rich Hill (@PP_Rich_Hill) March 22, 2016
The next time that Belichick tells a reporter something of value will be the first time that Belichick tells a reporter something of value.
— Billy Lanni (@BillyLanni) March 22, 2016
Until the next triumph.
Matt Dolloff is a writer for CBSBostonSports.com. His opinions do not necessarily reflect that of CBS or 98.5 The Sports Hub. Have a news tip or comment for Matt? Follow him on Twitter @mattdolloff and email him at mdolloff@985thesportshub.com.