Photographing a full life, with a disability

In 1988, Patricia Lay-Dorsey experienced her first unexplained fall. Eight months later, the then-45-year-old marathoner was diagnosed with chronic progressive multiple sclerosis.

Since that initial diagnosis, Lay-Dorsey, an artist, photographer and retired social worker, has used art and poetry to process her feelings about her condition. In 2006, she became serious about photography and for the past five and a half years, has worked on an intensive self-portrait project documenting her experience living with MS.

Fifty of those images have been compiled into a book, "Falling into Place," published by Ffotogallery this month. Lay-Dorsey plans to distribute the book to universities, doctor's offices, non-profits and other outlets in the hope that the images will educate viewers about the reality of life with a disability, as well as inspire those living with their own challenges.

Learn more about the project here.

When first diagnosed, Lay-Dorsey, who had been an active athlete and dancer, was terrified by the prospect of being physically limited. "The worst scenario was that I end up in a scooter or a wheelchair," she said. "I was afraid of the future."

Since diagnosis, Lay-Dorsey has found ways to thrive. "Yes, my particular life changed when I was diagnosed with MS, but I still have an extremely full life and a very gratifying life, and one that I really love."

Making challenging moments public was uncomfortable for Lay-Dorsey, but is has also been a way for her to move beyond her insecurities. "Before I started taking the self-portraits, I had pretty much dealt with being disabled by getting on with my life and not really going face to face with what I was feeling," she said.

By taking, and then looking at the photographs, she confronted her daily life in a new way, "I had to come to terms with things," she said. "If you ignore your challenges, they are going to pop up in strange ways, but if you meet them face to face, you can deal with them.

Some of the compositions are planned, while others, like this photo, are spontaneous moments.

Lay-Dorsey noticed the bright color of the dead blue jay first, and when she came closer, was struck by the image of her feet next to the bird. "This blue jay looks just as beautiful in death as it had in life," she said. "And I looked at my feet, and they had -- not that long ago -- run 26 miles. And now they can't walk anyplace."

"They look the same, the bird looks the same, but neither one of them are the same."

"When you see someone else being very open and honest," Lay-Dorsey said, "it gives them permission to look at themselves, to look at their own challenges honestly."

Lay-Dorsey is seen here dancing at Detroit's annual electronic music festival, which she has attended for the past nine years. Known locally as "Grandma Techno," she says it is her favorite weekend of the year.

"As a former runner, I love putting myself in the body of a good runner when I see them," Lay-Dorsey said.

For this image, the photographer already had a composition in mind and just had to wait for the right runner to come by. "it didn't hurt that she had on a red shirt," Lay-Dorsey said.

Before the self-portrait project, Lay-Dorsey was particularly nervous about being seen during a fall. "I had a lot of shame, that I didn't realize I had, about being not perfect," she said.

But by revealing even her most vulnerable moments through photography, Lay-Dorsey says she has been able to feel more comfortable with her limitations. "I don't mind asking for help and I don't freak out that people are going to think the less of me."

Lay-Dorsey says she plans to continue the project indefinitely, despite the recent completion of her book, and looks forward to continuing her outreach and education efforts through the project.

"This is a huge thing for me," she said. "To help people who do live with disabilities feel seen for who they really are and see their lives reflected in an authentic way."

Photographer Patricia-Lay Dorsey documents her life with MS in her new book, "Falling into Place."