Life lessons from "Jurassic Park"
The entertainment gods have finally gifted us with that anxiously anticipated sequel to "Jurassic Park."
That's right. "Jurassic World" comes out June 12, 2015. And what better way to prepare yourself than by reviewing all the life lessons the original film taught you?
Life always finds a way
Let's begin with a classic.
For better or for worse, life always finds a way.
Always say "God bless you"
You should say, "God bless you," whenever someone sneezes. It's just the polite thing to do...
Even if that someone is a dinosaur, sneezing on you.
Wipe your face off on your sleeve, and do the right thing.
Have a contingency plan
Hope for the best, but plan for the worst.
And while you're at it, have a backup plan in place, in case that worst case scenario ever happens.
Girls can be very clever
...especially female raptors.
Never underestimate your foes
Dr. Alan Grant: "It's just the two Raptors, right? You're sure the third one's contained?"
Dr. Ellie Sattler: "Yes, unless they figure out how to open doors."
Spoiler alert: They do.
Never hide in the kitchen
There are far too few places to conceal your whole body, and far too many hanging spoons that can potentially make noise.
Never hide in the kitchen, Part 2
Especially not there!
Creation is an act of will
Dr. Ellie Sattler: "You can't think your way through this, John. You have to feel it."
John Hammond: "You're right. You're absolutely right. Hiring Nedry was a mistake, that's obvious. We're over-dependent on automation. I can see that now. Now, the next time, everything is correctible..."
Dr. Ellie Sattler: "John..."
John Hammond: "Creation is an act of sheer will. Next time it'll be flawless."
Never climb an electric fence
Even if the power is currently down, it can always be switched back on.
And if you happen to be up there when it is, you're toast.
Giving someone the middle finger
...is more fun with a raptor claw.
Especially when that someone has just underestimated the ferocity of raptors because they look like giant turkeys.
Evolution is complicated
Dr. Ian Malcom: "God creates dinosaur. God destroys dinosaur. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaur."
Dr. Ellie Sattler: "Dinosaur eats man. Woman inherits the earth."
Embrace your instincts
Dr. Alan Grant: "T-Rex doesn't want to be fed. He wants to hunt. Can't just suppress 65 million years of gut instinct."
Progress isn't always progress
Volunteer: "This new program's incredible. A few more years development and we won't even have to dig anymore."
Dr. Alan Grant: "Where's the fun in that?"
Objects in mirror are closer...
...than they appear. RUNNNNN!
Never trust Newman
Ugh, that guy deserved to get eaten.
It can always get worse
John Hammond: "So much for our first tour: two no-shows and one sick Triceratops."
Ray Arnold: "It could have been worse, John. A lot worse."
The lesser of two evils
Sometimes, that's all there is.
Tim: "Well... we're back... in the car again."
Dr. Alan Grant: "Well, at least you're out of the tree."
Kids are better than you at computers
And good thing they are, 'cause Lex totally saved the day by figuring out this program.
Sarcasm is your friend
Dr. Ian Malcolm: "Remind me to thank John for a lovely weekend."
There's always a bigger fish
And, in parting, a little wisdom we've already picked up from "Jurassic World," thanks to its rather epic trailer...
Always be nice to the other fish. Even if you're a Great White Shark, there's always someone bigger and hungrier than you.