The Passions Around 'The Passion'

This column from The Weekly Standard was written by Larry Miller.

Funny bit. A little hard to chew on coming out so soon after the liberation of the concentration camps some people say never existed, but it's a funny bit.

Well, folks, as Bette Davis said in one of her movies, buckle up, it's going to be a bumpy ride.

The opening, reception, run, box office, and -- most importantly -- the aftermath of "The Passion of the Christ" are shaping up to be very nearly as powerful as the original was two thousand years ago.

At least this has to be the first movie in Hollywood history that can't be ruined by revealing the end. Can you imagine someone that stupid? "Oh, man, why'd you tell me? See, that's why I don't read the reviews." Come to think of it, it's almost a miracle (so to speak) that the thing wasn't Hollywood-ized. "Can you make the ending more upbeat? You know, maybe a 'buddy-movie.'"

Of course, as you probably know, it's not a Hollywood movie at all. Mel Gibson paid for the whole thing out of his own kick to the tune of thirty million bucks, which is a snappy little tune. It's not much by movie standards, where the budgets of "Waterworld" and "Titanic" and many others are regularly, well, titanic. Still, thirty million dollars is a pretty big check for one guy to write, no matter who he is. ("Is it okay if I post-date it? We just got new carpeting put in, and I want to make sure there's enough in the account to cover it. It's always everything at once, huh?") What I'm getting at is that even the richest people in the world don't just plunk chunks of dough down like that unless they're powerfully committed to something.

Like God and faith. Now, I haven't seen the movie, and I don't know Mel Gibson. Likewise, I'll bet ninety-nine-point-nine-nine-nine-percent-or-so of you haven't seen it and don't know Mel Gibson, either. But this hasn't stopped us all from thinking, reading, and talking about it, has it?

Well, it shouldn't. Here's my take: I'm glad he did it; but I'm a little afraid. Afraid of what? I don't know. Pogroms? No. Riots? No. Then what? I don't know. Then why am I afraid?

I don't know.

I've always liked Gibson's movies. He's a terrific actor and director. (In fact, if Jesus had had a lighthearted, ironic side-kick, I would've been on the phone every day to get it. After all, I've got a head start on the Aramaic with my Hebrew. Ah, well, maybe the sequel.)

I'm not the biggest fan of action movies, in fact I can't watch them at all since September 11, when the real heroes took over. But Mel's stuff was always better than the rest. His characters started out tough and alienated, haunted and long-suffering, hurt and rigid, but they always grew to be selfless, caring, affectionate, and heroic.

And when I heard, a few years ago, that he was also religious? I liked him even more. After all, so am I.

Plus, remember, this is a guy who could crook his finger at any woman in the world, and she would follow him. But he doesn't. How many men could say the same if they had the power? So far, he and I are the only ones.

Okay, I guess we might as well jump to the sixty-four thousand dollar question: Did "The Jews" kill Jesus? Well, first of all, if they did, the whole nefarious scheme doesn't seem to have worked out quite the way they planned, does it? In fact, just a few years after the skullduggery, those wily Christ-killers were shattered and scattered to the four corners of the Earth, where they spent the next two thousand delightful years getting blamed for every nosebleed and crop-failure in the village and constantly, repeatedly, never-endingly, being tortured and murdered in the most horrible ways imaginable.

(Say, wait a minute. Kind of sounds like what happens to the guy in the movie, doesn't it?)

And let's not forget the "wow" finish sixty years ago, and the "Always-leave-'em-wanting-more" encore today on every bus in Jerusalem. Like yesterday.

Well, I think it's enough. It's not for me to say, of course, it's for God. But I think it's enough. Or, as we Jews might say colloquially, "Enough, already."

Look, folks: Jesus was a Jew, a rabbi, in fact. His parents were Jews. The disciples were Jews. The first ten thousand Christians were Jews. More. Now, in the most important ways Jesus was the Son of Man, and is part of every culture and race. But he was a Jew, and if his hair was fuzzy, it was probably Eliot Gould-fuzzy, not Justin Timberlake-fuzzy, because, again, HE WAS A JEW.

Exactly what shade and shape were the Jews at that time? Who knows? But it's a fair bet that Mary and Joseph looked more like Debra Winger and Adam Sandler than Meg Ryan and Brad Pitt, don't you think?

Jesus knew he had to suffer and die on the cross. He wasn't alone, by the way. Two hundred and fifty thousand other Jews were crucified by the Romans in the same period. (Probably not according to Mel's father, but still . . .) Yet out of all the victims of this astonishing cruelty, Jesus Christ was the only one who rose and became God to two billion people, unless you count Miramax.

It was all planned by God, including the path of the rest of the Jews. After all, if the people of Judea hadn't stayed Jewish, how could they have been reborn again in Eretz Yisrael, the Land of Israel? Yes, Jesus was a Jew, and everyone in his life was a Jew. In fact, the only ones in his life who weren't Jews were the guys in the togas and helmets who slew him so horribly.

Maybe it's not a coincidence that Mel Gibson was moved to make this film at a time in the world when so much is divided by good and bad. Maybe the passions around "The Passion" will heal us all and move us forward more into the light. We'll all know soon enough.

Should "The Jews" be blamed for what guys named Pilate and Caiaphas did so long ago? The question's actually moot: We already have been. The question is, what will happen now?

Every Christian is my brother and sister in the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, and Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah. I am shoulder to shoulder with every Christian who believes the United States is and should always be A Light Unto The Nations, and who believes the same about that other, older, much smaller, and much maligned Light Unto The Nations.

I hope Mel Gibson's movie will be cleansing and strengthening. It'll also make a ton of dough, but I don't think he cares about that.

I'm afraid of bad people doing bad things, but I guess they always have anyway. I'm hopeful that all true Christians and Jews will use this to look deep into their hearts and fully line up with the same God.

Larry Miller is a contributing humorist to The Daily Standard and a writer, actor, and comedian living in Los Angeles.

By Larry Miller
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