NCAA Bracketology: Man vs. Monkey
Call it man versus wild, or maybe just desperate man seeking validation that he understands sports.
In the 20-plus years I've been filling out NCAA Tournament brackets, not once have I ever come close to tasting victory. Countless sure-fire picks turned into busts. Family, friends and co-workers, who I swore didn't have a clue about college basketball, trounced my efforts to predict winners.
I'm done with humans. Bring on the primates.
A few Christmases back, I became acquainted with Scooter, a brown capuchin and resident of the Jungle Friends Primate Sanctuary in Gainesville, Fla. Donations in my name were given to Jungle Friends for Scooter as a Christmas gift. In turn, Scooter sent me artwork.
Click here to read Scooter's bio
Our relationship remained on that level until this week when I decided to challenge Scooter to an NCAA bracket showdown.
What's on the line? Only my pride.
Methods:
I did what I always do: pick the teams who seemed to be the hottest leading into the tournament. (Read: the teams I saw win games in the past two weeks.) Bracketology is far too complex a science for me to comprehend.
As for Scooter, he kept it simple. According to Tracey Jones, one of the faithful Jungle Friends volunteers, when Scooter was asked to choose a game, he pointed and "made monkey noises."
So far, Scooter and I are on the same page.
Where we diverge is in our picks.
Sean's Final Four (below): Ohio State, West Virginia, Syracuse, Duke.
Scooter's Final Four (below): Kansas, Texas, Florida, Notre Dame.
I have Ohio State beating the Mountaineers for the title. Scooter, filled with hometown pride, thinks the Gators will surprise everyone and beat Kansas to win their third championship in five years.
"When he decided that Florida would be the championship winner, he started chanting, running, jumping and swinging all over his habitat," Tracey e-mailed me.
All I did when I finished my bracket was instantly regret my picks.
With that set, stay posted for updates on the Man vs. Monkey duel.
(Click here to see fellow CBSNews.com staffer Gordon Donovan ask his parrots for bracket advice.)
If you seek more professional analysis of the tournament, go to CBSSports.com for the latest on the winners, losers and upsets:
Full NCAA Tournament coverage at CBSSports.com
CBSSports.com College Basketball Blog
CBSSports.com Experts' Brackets
Brackets Picked by Celebrities
For more information on Jungle Friends, Click here.