Developing Presence
Presence is an elusive human quality that mysteriously enables a person to command respect, or at least attention. Although some people believe you are born with presence and others that it develops as a by-product of success, it is probably a combination of the two. You can certainly nurture and develop it in yourself. It most often results from self-confidence—when you feel perfectly at home with, or passionate about, what you are doing. Presence is most likely to elude us during those times in which we are unsure of ourselves or uncomfortable in our roles.
When you think of great leaders like Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Nelson Mandela, and Napoleon—all small people—you realize that "stature" has nothing to do with height. They command respect because of their confidence and passionate belief in their missions. You, too, can create presence. It is a state of mind: the old adage, "think tall and you will be tall" really does work.
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You are not unusual in this regard. Many people excel in one context then find themselves unable to bring their talent with them to a new setting. There are, however, a number of techniques that have proven successful in transferring that talent from one situation to another. One that seems to work well is "anchoring." Briefly, it relies on your ability to capture the feeling of doing something really well, and associate it with a saying, gesture, or movement, for example, pinching your thumb and forefinger together. This becomes your "anchor." When you use your anchor in new settings, the memories and feelings of doing well flood back, allowing you to perform to your expectations.
You have three things that your subordinates lack: knowledge, expertise, and authority. Your peers and managers probably have at least as much, if not more, of these things as you do—or know how to create the illusion that they do. If you appear sufficiently intimidated, they may take advantage of the situation, and you may lose your confidence. Try the "anchor" technique described above and transfer your confidence to the encounters you have with your peers and managers and thereby establish your presence and gain respect
Presence very often comes from being personally aligned with your message. In order to be an effective communicator, you need to be "at one" with what you say. You must have not only a thorough grasp of your material in order to explore it comfortably with your audience, but also a strong desire to get your message across. You need to be completely familiar with your audiovisual aids and be prepared, if the technology should fail, to continue seamlessly without it. In order to appear relaxed and confident you need to be physically comfortable and happy with your personal appearance. Practice is essential, especially if public speaking makes you nervous. Giving a presentation on a subject that you feel passionate about is a great place to begin.
Developing presence is a multifaceted challenge that can be categorized in four different areas:
- physical
- mental/emotional
- mastery
- occasion-based
Good posture, fitness and good health, and good clothes are important elements in creating presence:
- Good posture projects calm and confidence. No matter what their size, people with presence stand tall and move well.
- Exercise, good diet, proper rest, and "centering" practices like meditation and yoga play key roles in maintaining fitness and good health.
- Good-quality clothes that fit well emphasize posture and confidence. Clothes need not be expensive nor conventional, just carefully chosen to suit the occasion.
Nonverbal behavior such as steady eye contact and appropriate gestures can also communicate a strong presence:
- You can create the impression of being larger than you are with the clever use of space. If sitting, try resting one arm on the back of the chair with your body at an angle and one leg crossed over the other. This position takes up a large amount of space and is very confident and imposing.
- Look for opportunities to project a "bigger" persona. Use full, sweeping arm movements, rather than just a hand or pointing finger. Exaggerate these gestures in front of a mirror or a friend, so you do not make the mistake of overdoing them in public.
- Good eye contact, whether one-on-one in a conversation or with members of an audience, enables you to build rapport.
- Paying close attention to what people say and demonstrating that you have heard their comments is extremely important.
- Remembering people, their names, and the context in which you know them is important, too. Deliberately using someone's name in a conversation can embed it in your mind.
The mind is one of the most effective tools for creating presence. Just by "seeing" something—visualizing it—you create a tangible impression. The art of visualization is very successful: our thoughts always precede our actions and behavior so, by making your intention explicit in your mind, you create it in reality. Visualize yourself as a person who emanates presence. See that picture of yourself in color; examine it in detail. Note the feelings that arise in you, the sound of an audience applauding, the glow of achievement as you make your exit.
Make positive affirmations: "I am confident," "I feel good," "I have presence." These will train your brain to believe what you see in your mind's eye. Repeat your positive affirmations regularly so that they become the dominant messages that you transmit about yourself. Make sure they are in the present tense however: "I am confident," not "I will be confident," or your brain will believe it to be a future scenario, and you may never get there!
Know what you know, and ensure, too, that other people know your worth; do not let false modesty hold you back. The knowledge and experience you have acquired over the years will enable you to be confident in what you say and do. Share your experiences, tell stories, and engage people at the human level. But be aware of times when others need to have their presence acknowledged. Too often, people on a quest to create presence for themselves stop seeing and listening to others. Try to be inclusive, and "generosity" will also become part of your presence.
Mastering all these elements will open new doors of opportunity for you: people will gravitate to you, offer you new leadership roles, and spread the good word about your qualities and skills.
Projecting presence demands an occasion. The occasion may be anything from a gathering of a few people to an audience of many. People with presence are able to create a sense of occasion in even the most ordinary of circumstances, such as walking along the production line, chairing a meeting, or giving a presentation. If you visualize situations in which you will likely find yourself and think through and practice your strategy, you will be prepared, when your "occasion" arises, to project confidence and presence.
These two traits are not the same. Overconfidence is about oneself; presence is about others. Someone who is overconfident comes across as being self-interested and unempathetic, whereas someone who projects presence is seen as being interested in building relationships with others. Very often people who demonstrate overconfidence are, in fact, trying to compensate for their lack of confidence.
People who have a certain amount of natural presence have been given a gift, but the gift still needs nurturing to develop properly. Be looking for occasions in which you can use the techniques that will help you develop presence. By building on a series of successes, you will soon be able to emanate presence at will. In time, it may become second nature.
As discussed above, there are physical, mental, emotional, mastery, and "occasion" elements involved in presence. All of these elements must be taken into account, or you could ruin all your good work. Imagine looking good, having a clear intention, having the occasion…but nothing to say. Or conversely, having a great story or bit of information, but getting the timing all wrong. Each element assists and supports the others, so pay careful attention to all of them.
Presence is about projecting a quality that others trust and respond to. It makes them feel as if they have gained something just from being close to you. Therefore, presence carries with it responsibility. You will be providing guidance, inspiring confidence, reflecting the values, and, perhaps, becoming the conscience of those who look up to you. That means you must be fully committed to your pursuit of presence and be prepared to sustain it.
Demarais, Ann, and Valerie White.