Becoming Jennifer Edwards

To Allison Helsel, her stepfather was always a regular dad. Ed Kozlowski was loving and attentive, and he raised her like his own.

But Allison, 23, says she didn't know that her fun-loving father, a computer programmer who loved motorcycles, had a long-kept secret that was causing him great pain. Correspondent Troy Roberts reports.

So it was quite a shock when a year ago, Kozlowski, then 46, phoned his stepdaughter and told her that he had always wanted to be a "she."

"It was a conscious effort I had to make every day to make sure my movements were masculine, that my conversation was 'masculine.' I was tired. I couldn't endure it anymore," says Kozlowski.

After Kozlowski told his family of his plans to live his life as a woman, he then had to come out to his community in Oldsmar, Fla.

To make matters even more complicated, Kozlowski was a public official who chaired meetings of the town's code enforcement board. While he had been dressing as a woman for a while, he only wore men's clothing at City Hall.

One day last spring, he decided to come to work in a dress and makeup, and before a stunned room, he introduced himself with his new name: Jennifer Edwards.

"It was very important to me. I agonized over it. It was a big relief to be able to finally be myself," says Kozlowski, now known as Jennifer.

It was headline news – and quickly became the talk of the town.

"Some were shocked, and awed; at least they were curious," says Jennifer. "But all in all they treated me very well …The majority of reaction is probably, 'Well, you're doing something you wanna do and if it makes you happy, OK, just don't do it to me.'"

But she admits that she encountered snide, ugly comments as well: "Almost daily. I've had people come right up to me and say, 'You're disgusting. You're sick.'"

"For people to look and have something to say, they're very closed-minded," says Allison. "That's what's wrong with this world today. Who cares what they think, as long as my Dad is happy?"

Jennifer plans to have sexual reassignment surgery. But first, she has to live full-time as a woman for a year. And that means she can finally be herself.

"I've really learned how to appreciate a little bit more what the feminine gender has to go through just to present themselves," says Jennifer.

"A guy can roll out of bed five minutes and he's on his way to work. Maybe he can shave in the car if he had to. You've got a dozen steps to go through just to do your basic good morning world and get out the door."

Jennifer has hired image consultant Kelly Machbitz, who has helped other transsexuals. "I hear the word passable a lot. They don't want to look like a man, dressing like a woman," says Machbitz. "She wants to be feminine; she's a wonderful student. So she's doing very well. I'm very proud."

Along with makeup and etiquette, Jennifer has another challenge – learning to shop for her new womanly figure.

"I think I look OK. I mean, for a 47-year-old woman, I'm doing all right," says Jennifer. "I'm 5 foot 7 inches, 135 pounds. I'm a size 8, 10 dress. So I'm very lucky. I was a slight individual to begin with."

"She has nice legs," says Allison, laughing. "It's not fair! I was very jealous!"

So when Allison looks at Jennifer Edwards, does she see a woman who is also her father?

"It is very confusing, because I see a woman, but I say 'dad,' and that's what I'm used to," says Allison. "My dad said I won't have to stop calling him dad. I don't have to stop saying that. I can say that for the rest of my life."

Is Jennifer still the same person who raised her? "To me, on the outside, no. On the inside, yes, because the love is still there on the inside. It's just the appearance is different."

"He should never have married me having those feelings. I mean, all trust went out the window," says Liz. "I choose to remain anonymous because I'm tired of people thinking I should have been able to control it. I'm tired of their snide little remarks. I'm tired of being told it's sick."

After a nine-year relationship, Liz divorced the person she knew as Ed Kozlowski: "My reaction was, 'This is it. The marriage is over. I don't want to be married to a woman.'"

"I think some people looking at you would say what you're about to do is an extremely selfish, selfish thing," says Roberts to Jennifer.

"Yes. My ex-wife has expressed that to me, so has my mother and my brothers," says Jennifer. "My family's turned their back on me. They don't speak to me. I had no other choice. I was going to break and I couldn't go on."
What does she now have? "My self respect," she says.

Jennifer realizes the sex-change surgery she's about to undergo is both dangerous, and irreversible. But to her, it will be a relief.

"To tell you the truth, if I died during the surgery next month, I would have died the happiest person I've ever been," says Jennifer.

"I have the brain of a woman. I have half the body of a woman now. I just want to complete it, I just want to be whole," says Jennifer.

It may be a dream come true, but it's a very expensive dream that's not covered by health insurance. There's $8,000 for the surgery alone -- in all, more than $50,000.

"I've gone through all my savings, I've gone through my retirement, I've gone through cashing an insurance policy. I've sold a lot of things," says Jennifer.

It's been a long and exhausting road for her, especially over the last year, as she's been closely following stringent medical guidelines to qualify for the surgery. To help her successfully pass as a female, these guidelines call for extensive hair removal, and a full year of taking hormones while dressing as a woman.

How has this therapy affected her emotionally?

"In the beginning, when you first come on the estrogen, you get the mood swings," says Jennifer. "I caught myself crying at a dog food commercial one day."

But after all these preparations, Jennifer still needs the approval of two therapists before she can finally undergo surgery.

Dr. Kathleen Farrell is one of Jennifer's therapists: "Her brain sex is definitely female. And her body was male."

Does Jennifer consider herself to be mentally ill? "No, I don't. The rest of the world may, a lot of the world does, I know, but no, it's not a mental disorder," she says.

"I understand that my Dad feels trapped in someone else's body," says Jennifer's daughter, Allison, who admits that it's a lot for her to absorb. "There's just more to it I think that I need to know. Just why? How come now?"

It sounds incredible, but to keep costs down, urologist Dr. Harold Reed will perform this surgery as an outpatient procedure. Jennifer will spend the night in Dr. Reed's recovery area – and only enter a hospital if there are complications.

As Jennifer enters the operating room in Florida, Allison is anxiously waiting by the phone – a 1,000 miles away in New Jersey.

"It's getting late," says Allison. "Makes me nervous the later it gets. I don't know what to do with myself."

After nearly five hours, Jennifer's transformation is complete.

Four weeks later, the pain of the surgery is just a memory to Jennifer, and she and her friends are looking forward to launching a Web site to help transsexuals.

"It's amazing. I feel for the first time in my entire life that I'm a whole person," says Jennifer.

Now, there's one thing left to do – have her sex officially changed on her driver's license. "I've waited for this for a long, long time," she says.

Jennifer, however, admits that one of the greatest challenges ahead is acceptance.

"I'll have to put up with being taunted my whole life, probably if I want love," says Jennifer. "I'm an oddity. How many people are going to want to extend their hearts to me? There's a lot I have to look forward to, but there's a lot of loss ahead of me too. It's not all behind me yet."