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By Suzanne Lucas
Want to get yourself fired? Not laid off--as that would probably mean you were doing a fine job but the company couldn't afford your salary. We're talking about getting fired--with good reason. As in, you've made some very unwise choices. And now your employer wants you off the premises. As soon as possible.
Here are nine people who can show you how to get the boot--and possibly end up in jail. I recommend that you do not follow their examples.
Photo by o5com, Flickr cc 2.0
According to the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, a 20-year-old public works employee was hired to "sweep, unplug sewers, fix potholes and perform various other chores" in Estevan, a city of about 10,000 people in Canada.
The man had several job-related problems, his supervisors said, so he didn't make it past the probationary period.
According to the 32-page arbitration decision, the biggest complaint was that "he was constantly texting and checking texts on his cell phone." Sent one day to patch potholes, the employee sent text messages instead, and, while he "sat in the truck texting," a supervisor said, his colleague did the work.
The man claims he was just texting his boss at his second job, and the union argued that his termination was outside policy. Nevertheless, he's still out of a job.
Photo by Ed Yardon, Flickr cc 2.0 Please note, this is an illustration and not the man described above.
When you're bored at work and have access to a shrink wrap machine, what do you do? You shrink wrap your coworker, of course.
Yorktown police investigated and confirmed a March 2 report that was filed by the parents of a district employee, whose identity has not been made public. In the report was the claim that the employee had been tied up and photographed by co-workers in the maintenance shop for several minutes during school hours, when a cell phone video was also captured. At least one photo was posted on Facebook.
The pranksters were terminated. They protested, said it was a just a joke and claimed that the co-worker was in on it, too, laughing along with the perps and vowing to get them back when he had the chance.
Photo by SuzanneLong, Flickr cc 2.0
Heavy winter storms required everyone in Cherry Hill, NJ to work together. One school employee said his workers were not available--and reportedly stirred a commotion in the way he responded.
"No, we will not be sending anyone else over," Kevin Larson, facilities director, allegedly wrote to Woodcrest Elementary School Principal Beth Anne Kob. "All of my polar bears, trained seals and the two silver back mountain gorillas on loan from the township" are unavailable.
The school district apologized for the email and fired the sender.
Photo by Ben Pollard, Flickr cc 2.0
Health care workers have access to all types of interesting and personal information. However, internal and external laws and regulations require that they not access it just for fun, which is what this employee is accused of doing.
The health authority's chief executive officer, Karen McGrath, said the employee "inappropriately accessed" over 80 personal health information reports, which included personal information of at least 19 different people during a two-year period.
The facility apologized to patients and hired a consultant to improve patient privacy.
Photo by Kapunga, Flickr cc 2.0
Alcohol and work shouldn't be mixed, except perhaps at the company Christmas party. Several Bowling Green State University employees forgot this rule. The Toledo Blade Reports:
A long-time equipment manager in the Bowling Green State University athletic department will retire after he and three other university employees were charged with open container violations in a university parking lot two weeks ago.
The open container violation is a misdemeanor, and the university did not terminate the three other employees.
Photo by Svadilfari, Flickr cc 2.0
When a patient's daughter began to suspect that her mother wasn't being treated right by nursing home employees, she hid a nanny-cam in a clock radio to observe the health care workers. The video later revealed the elderly mother being slapped and having her oxygen mask ripped off of her by an employee. NBC New York reported:
A New Jersey nursing home employee has been arrested for allegedly assaulting a terminally ill 87-year-old woman, who died two days later. The alleged attack was captured on a so-called "nanny cam."
Julia C. Galvan, 59, of North Bergen, was arrested on charges of assault and abuse and neglect of the elderly, and faces up to five years in prison. The alleged assault occurred at the Harborage, a 245-bed nursing home on River Road.
According to the police the assault contributed to the woman's death. Ms. Galvan, who was terminated from her job, said that she was stressed.
Photo by MrsRaggle, Flickr cc 2.0. Please note this is an illustration only and not Ms. Galvan.
Working in law enforcement means that your coworkers also work in law enforcement and are trained to identify violations of the law.
Jailer Billie Joe Smith was arrested for sexual assault, as well as supplying prohibited items to inmates.
He was terminated after a long investigation and could end up in prison himself, if convicted.
Photo by Tim Pearce, Flickr cc 2.0
Twitter can sometimes seem like a happy place where friendly converations take place. And friends understand that sometimes people say bad words. However, when it's your job to tweet and you represent someone other than, say, Charlie Sheen, bad words can be problematic. Social Barrel reports:
An employee of a social media agency that does work for Chrysler was terminated after dropping the F-bomb using ChryslerAutos Twitter account. Chrysler removed the offending Tweet, apologized, and said the employee who posted it has been terminated. However, some Twitter users, including @tverma29 had already re-Tweeted it before it was removed from Chrysler's twitter account, so it is now not possible to remove it from the web.
Chrysler apologized for the post and said that that statement does not reflect the company or its brands.
Photo by everyspoon, Flickr cc 2.0
Put a pen in your pocket and accidentally take it home, and it's doubtful anyone will care. Start stealing computers, and you'll get noticed. The NonProfit Times reports:
Several members of the Council on Foundations' (COF) information technology department are under criminal investigation for the alleged theft of equipment the organization is valuing at "being less than $200,000."
The employees have been terminated and the case turned over to the Arlington, Va., police department, according to Ashley A. Mills, director of public relations for the council. She declined to say how many employees are involved or any other details, citing the ongoing investigation.
The foundation said it needs to increase employee awareness of what their coworkers are doing, so that they notice any irregularities. It's not enough just to trust that everyone is doing what they should be.
Photo by Loz Flowers, Flickr cc 2.0